Absence
by mandorac
Summary: Another stripper!Sam story involving Quinn. Mature stuff; strong language. Mainly a oneshot with an epilogue.
1. Chapter 1

_**ABSENCE**_

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing related to Glee or anything else mentioned in this story.

In Indiana, you only have to be 18 to enter a strip joint. You only have to be 18 to work in one. Sam Evans was 17 but the lady manager fudged the year of his birth on his employment paperwork and suddenly he was 19. The night Finn and Rachel showed up he nearly pissed his pants, on stage, in front of a full house of rowdy horny women and gay men.

His family had moved to Fort Wayne at the end of his sophomore year at McKinley. He found work at an all-night diner and soon learned of a place called Star Struck, a seedy place on the east side of Fort Wayne, about 15 minutes from the state border between Indiana and Ohio, where men danced for women. Or more like stripped for tips. His uniform there was a lot different than the jeans and polo shirt and apron he wore at the diner. He came out in a wifebeater and tear-away gym pants, stripping out of the tank and tearing off the pants to reveal a tight pair of red shorts. But, it didn't stop there. At the end of his act, he shimmied out of the red shorts, down to a Speedo. And that's when the money rolled in. He hid most of the money from his parents so they wouldn't get suspicious; at the diner, he might make $20 in tips per shift, at Star Struck, a slow night was $200 in tips.

He saw Finn and Rachel making their way toward a table at the back of the place, their eyes wide, their jaws dropped, but he had a job to do and it was about time to drop his shorts. The other men on stage did the same thing at the same time and that's when the place became chaotic. Screaming women, smiling gay men, all tucking bills in his bikini. One night, backstage, he had found a $100 bill shoved down next to his dick. He had no idea who had done that, a man or a woman. At that point, he didn't even care.

When his act was done, he went backstage to the dressing room with the other men and carefully collected his money...$240 that night...not too shabby. He dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt and went out front, knowing Finn and Rachel were going to confront him. Except now was the time he had to act as a waiter at the club while another set of men gyrated on stage.

They did confront him, asking him to move back to Lima, they needed him in New Directions for sectionals.

"You can live with us, Sam, we need you..." Finn pleaded.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You know how much I just made for 30 minutes of work? Almost $300. No way, I can't give this up. Sorry guys..." Sam had said to them, noticing Rachel's disappointed face. He apologized again, more sincerely, and told them he had to serve drinks and whatever until 3 a.m. They actually waited for him to get done at the strip joint and then went with him to the diner to talk.

"How'd you two get away for a night?" Sam asked them, digging into a salad. His work schedule had him sleeping right after school, straight through supper, and he never ate before he danced (made him look bloated); he was starving.

"They think we're at a show choir competition. Everyone misses you..." Rachel answered.

"Really? I haven't heard from anyone," Sam said, smirking.

"No one knew where you went...Mercedes is the one who told us all you moved," Finn told him.

"Mercedes, huh? How's she?" Sam asked, spearing a cherry tomato and popping it in his mouth. _She knew damn well where he moved to yet he hadn't heard one word from her_, he thought.

"Fine...she's dating this linebacker...he just got a full ride to OSU..." Finn mumbled.

"Really? Great..." Sam likewise mumbled.

"Sam, please reconsider our offer..._please_...we'd love to have you back," Rachel said, nearly begging him.

"Rach, thanks for the offer, but I just cannot give this up. In a week, I'm bringing home over a thousand dollars. I'm paying off bills left and right, getting my family out of debt. I can't walk away from this money to be in the glee club...it just ain't gonna happen," Sam told them again.

Finn and Rachel looked at one another. "What do you do until you go home?" she asked.

"Hang out here until 6, then go home and get ready for school, sleep after school, go to work at 7," he said. "Tell me about everyone else. How's Mike and Artie?"

They talked for the next 3 hours about what had been going on at McKinley since he had been gone. The news that concerned him the most, even beyond Mercedes moving on, was what was going on with Quinn. He had also told her he was moving while she babysat one night. Her breath hitched, she hugged him and wished him and his family well, and she was gone. Now, Finn and Rachel were telling him she had pretty much gone off the deep end over the summer and was trying to get her daughter back.

"So, Shelby moved back to Lima to teach at McKinley...isn't that like rubbing it in Quinn's face? Even you Rachel...how does that make you feel?" Sam asked.

"It doesn't bother me too much; Shelby and I get along okay. Quinn is not dealing with it well, though, at all. She set up Shelby's apartment to make it look like Shelby was an unfit mother and then Quinn called Child Protective Services. Puck fixed it all though before CPS got there..."

"Wait...Puck and Quinn were in Shelby's apartment?"

"Shelby wants them to be a part of Beth's life so she let them babysit; Puck is trying but Quinn is...she's just really upset about it, I guess," Rachel told him. "Now, Puck and Shelby have something going on..."

Sam snorted. "I'm not surprised about Puck getting in Shelby's pants...what about Quinn? She seeing anyone?"

"Over the summer, she dyed her hair pink and hung out with the Skanks and said she dated a 40-year-old tattoo artist..."

"Pink? The Skanks? Wow..." Sam said, wondering what had happened to the once self-confident girl he had dated, the unselfish girl who helped his family before they left Lima.

When 6 o'clock rolled around, Sam thanked them for coming to see him and said he wished he could help out, it just wasn't in the cards at the time. He told them to tell the rest of the group he said hello and asked them to keep his new job on the down-low.

"How'd you two find out anyway?"

Finn and Rachel looked at one another. "Well, uh, 'Cedes said the last she heard from you that you were working at this diner so we just stopped here and asked them."

Sam rolled his eyes. _Fuck, I'm gonna have to talk to them about that_.

"Just don't tell the others, okay?"

They nodded, Rachel hugged him quickly, and they left for their hotel. Sam went into the diner and left a message that if anyone asked about him they didn't know where he went to work. Then, he ran home to the apartment they were living in and got ready for school.

_xxxxx_

Quinn heard them whispering in the choir room. She sat behind and to the right of Rachel and picked up snippets of the conversation she was having with Tina: _stripper, won't come back, Sam_. She watched Tina's face turn to shock at the word _stripper_, then sadness at _won't come back_.

_Why won't he come back?_ Tina had whispered.

_He makes too much money at that place_, Rachel responded. _He asked about 'Cedes_.

_Well, of course he asked about Mercedes; everyone knew they were dating after Nationals...he pretty much told me so in New York_, Quinn thought to herself, biting her nail. She remembered that evening at the hotel; she ran into him at the ice machine in the hallway the night before the performance. She asked if he had ever thought of trying again, him and her. He had smiled warmly at her and said he loved her as a friend but he was seeing someone else and returned to the boys' room. She stood there with the ice bucket for the longest time, finally going back to the girls' room with no ice and barricading herself in the bathroom. She studied herself in the mirror in there, wondering what was so wrong about herself that no one loved her. When she came out of the bathroom, Santana and Brittany talked her into cutting her hair, which she did, but no one had noticed, not even Sam.

She picked up another snippet of conversation: _worried about Quinn_. She saw Rachel try to look over her shoulder nonchalantly at Quinn, making sure she had not overheard anything. Quinn kept doodling in her notebook, watching Rachel from the corner of her eye. She couldn't make out anymore of the conversation and Schue started rehearsal.

_xxxxx_

She wanted Beth back. Her efforts thus far had failed. She then realized if she couldn't have Beth she could make another baby...she wouldn't need the father in the picture, it would just be her and her baby...someone who would forever love her. Since it had been successful with Puck, she decided to try to seduce him. She stopped her birth control, learned her ovulatory pattern, and invited him over. He actually did come over, but she spilled too much and told him her plan. And then he told her about him and Shelby. And she felt sick to her stomach for even attempting to conceive again with him.

Then, she overhead Rachel and Tina's hushed conversation about Sam Evans. And her mind began working. She had always liked Sam, maybe even loved him and his goofy ways. He was a good-looking guy; their babies together would most likely be perfect. She needed to find out where he was working in Indiana and then pay him a visit at a certain time of the month.

She caught up with Rachel in the locker room after gym class a few days after eavesdropping the conversation in the choir room. She cornered Rachel up against the row of lockers.

"Tell me what you know," Quinn said to her, planting both her hands on either side of Rachel's shoulders, pinning her in place.

"About what?" Rachel asked nervously.

"I know you went to see him. Where?"

"See who?" Rachel was visibly shaking now.

"I really don't want to call your dads and blow the whistle about you and Finn staying in a hotel _alone together_ so just tell me where he is and I'll forget I know that," Quinn said calmly.

Rachel slightly shook her head _no _and then sighed deeply. "Fort Wayne," she whispered. "A place called Star Struck."

Quinn smiled. "Thank you, Rach. I know we all enjoyed that show choir competition there." She dropped her arms and Rachel scurried out of the locker room.

_xxxxx_

It took nearly an hour and a half but Quinn found the place easy enough, thanks to Google. That section of the road was lined with stores of the adult variety, book stores, video places, bars, Star Struck and right across the street a place called Over The Moons, a place with lady strippers. It was difficult for her to picture Sam working in that type of business but as she sat in the parking lot she saw him pull into the lot in his same old beater, get out, and enter through a back door.

She adjusted the long red wig and oversized sunglasses (_thank you McKinley drama department!_ she thought giddily) and stepped out of her car when the place opened at 10 p.m. She adjusted her trench coat and walked to the front of the establishment. She handed the bouncer her ID; he looked at her funny but let her in. She found a secluded table in the shadows, took her coat off, revealing a simple black dress, and ordered a Shirley Temple and a glass of water from a very hot guy. For the next 2 hours, she nursed those two drinks while watching Sam dance on stage. To her, he seemed removed from what he was doing, going through the motions, smiling here and there but not at anyone in particular, just off into the distance to make it appear he was enjoying himself. She about died herself when the red shorts came off and he was gyrating in a tiny pair of briefs. She remembered the shy scared boy she had dated and how he had felt under her when they made out, nervous, shaking. Now, he moved like a man, confidence oozing from him. She'd catch him looking down at himself, probably wondering how he looked to the women and handful of gay men there. The Speedo was a baby blue and pretty much everything he had below the waist was accentuated. When his set ended, she got up and went to the restroom, reapplying the deep red lipstick and adjusting the wig.

_xxxxx_

It was the usual crowd for a Wednesday night...loud women, a few gay men, some of the ladies who came straight from church services, which he always thought was a little weird but whatever, who was he to judge? That night, he chose to wear his baby blue Speedos instead of the black ones or red ones because the lady manager said his junk looked better in a lighter color. He groaned and pulled them on. It was either those or the white ones and he was pretty sure when he wore the white ones his balls slipped out. He went through his moves on stage, checking out the crowd. He always wondered who would be the biggest tippers. Not surprisingly so, the churchy ladies dipped a lot of bills in his briefs. His eyes moved through the sitting crowd. Why didn't those people rush the stage to tuck, he wondered? His eyes stopped at a woman in a back booth, wearing shades in the dim place, sipping a drink slowly, long red hair, staring him down. _Hmmm...the red hair is not real, he could tell from the sheen under the lights...someone was trying to hide his/her identity_, he guessed.

His set ended; he counted his tips, already at $300. He changed and went out front to take over as a waiter. He noticed the red-headed woman was gone but her stuff was still at her table so he went about his work, keeping an eye out for her.

She breezed past him a few minutes later...the perfume...he knew the perfume. As she walked behind him, she pressed up against him; he felt her breasts against his back. He watched her walk away from him, to her table. He definitely knew that ass; his hands had gripped it enough times in the past. She sat down, crossed her legs, watching the men dance on stage.

Sam walked up to Derek, the waiter for Quinn's table. "Trade me tables...I need to wait on 15...I'll give you 27..." His table had four very drunk women who would tip very well.

Derek checked out the situation. "So, you into gingers?"

"No...just trade me...my 27 _plus $20_ for your 15..." Sam said, handing the guy a $20 bill.

"Fine...she's pretty cold though," Derek told him.

"Whatever..." Sam mumbled.

He took a tray and sidled over to her table, standing just behind her so that when he spoke she'd have to turn, looking right at his crotch, then up at him. It was how they did things at Star Struck.

"Miss, can I get you another...?" he said using the sexiest voice he could muster. Her lips were deep red; he'd never seen them so full and _red_ before.

She turned at the sound of his voice and it worked, she was staring right at his crotch. "Uh, no...I'm fine, thank you."

"Another water?"

"No, thank you..."

"You're new here...haven't seen you around," he said, trying to get her to break her persona.

"I come here often; you've just never noticed me," she replied.

"Why the shades, darlin'? It's dark enough in here," he drawled. She ignored him.

He paused a moment, wondering if he should call her bluff. But, then he said, "Just flag me down if you need anything."

He watched her the rest of the night. When she got up to go to the restroom, he took another glass of water to her table since the first one was dry. He wasn't sure what kind of game she was playing; he knew Finn and Rachel would blow his cover and it only took 2 weeks for Quinn to show up, stalking him. He was kind of surprised the others hadn't made their way to the club yet.

She returned from the restroom, looking at the glass of water strangely, but then picked it up and took a sip from it.

At last call, she got up and slipped out of the club while he was at another table. He caught a glimpse of her as she exited the building so he went to the door and watched what car she went to. _Yep, it was her, driving her hand-me-down Civic_, he thought, watching her tail lights drive off down the highway, back toward Ohio. Back inside, he went to her table and picked up the $20 bill, smiling. On it, she had scrawled _see you soon_.

_xxxxx_

Driving down highway 30, she pulled off the wig and tossed it in the back seat. Her adrenaline was pumping through her veins..._I did it! I pulled it off! Not sure he knew it was me but he sure was acting odd_, she thought, singing along to the radio. She recalled the day in June he told her his family was moving. Her plan at that time was to become friends with him again by helping his family out with babysitting and then hopefully start dating him again. In New York, though, she found out about him seeing someone else and it soon was apparent. When he left in June and Mercedes hooked up with that Shane guy a week later, Quinn found herself wanting to punch something. Did Sam mean nothing to her? How could she go from one boy to another just like that? Quinn knew though; she had been there herself so she couldn't begrudge Mercedes. Sam had moved out of state, what was she supposed to do? Sit around and mope? Not Mercedes. She had had a taste of what it was like to be desired by someone else and she wasn't going back to being a single diva.

That night, she had hugged him quickly and left just as fast, crying as she sped away from the hotel. She heard later that he had left the next day.

Quinn wondered if Sam had a girlfriend at his new school. Since he had asked Finn and Rachel about Mercedes, Quinn doubted that he did. _He_ was still moping around about Mercedes apparently. This was her chance; she knew it. In two weeks, she'd revisit Sam and catch up with him and hopefully come away from that meeting with a baby in her belly.

_xxxxx_

He thought about her often after that night at Star Struck. Why the wig and shades? Did she not want him to know it was her or was she afraid of being seen in such a place? He didn't know; she confused him. He went about his daily routine, trying to keep up with his classes, being groped by women and men at night. He had learned how to play to the most eager customer in the crowd, hoping to increase his tips. The best night he had had there was when he walked away with $500 after letting some cougar give him a handjob after the show. He knew that was wrong but, what the hell, she wanted to touch his cock, he needed to get off. Not to mention she was a rich bitch he had learned from the other guys there so she had the cash. She wanted to suck him off, but he wouldn't let it go that far.

_xxxxx_

Two weeks later, he saw Quinn again, sitting at the same table, wearing the same get-up, only this time a red dress and stilettos, her lips the same color as the dress and shoes. He was wearing his white briefs that night, much to his chagrin. He had just noticed Quinn and was squatting in front of some screaming chick when he felt his nut sack get pinched. _Motherfucker that hurt...these people are fucking crazy_, he thought, standing up. _Won't be showing them the goods anymore tonight!_

She watched him do his routine, catching her eye every once in awhile. _He knows it's me, he knows...he's looking at me_, she thought, nervously. She slowly took the sunglasses off and put them away, then kept watching him.

_xxxxx_

He stumbled with his moves when he saw her eyes. _Definitely her, her eyes are completely fuckable_, he thought, plastering a fake smile on his face for a woman in the front row. _So she took off the glasses, she wants me to know it's her...what does she want?_

His set finally ended and he went to the dressing room. He pulled on his skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt, counted his cash, and went to the bar. Her table was in his section that night so he didn't have to bribe anyone.

"What're you havin'?" he asked from behind her.

She turned and looked up at him.

"Just a water, please," she answered quietly.

He returned with a glass of water and stood across the table from her.

"What're you doin' here, Quinn? This is no place for a lady," he said, finally addressing her.

"The ladies sure seem to enjoy you," she said, trying to hide her smile.

"Yeah, well, it's just a job, a good-payin' job..."

"I missed you. That's why I'm here, Sam," she blurted. _Remember, you said too much to Puck and scared him off, don't do the same with Sam_, she thought, biting her lip.

"I miss you all, too. I heard sectionals was a bust," he laughed.

"Yeah, it just wasn't our year, I guess," she replied. "When do you get off work? Maybe we could grab a bite to eat or...?"

"I get off at 3. I'll see if I can pull some strings..." He wandered off to find his manager, who thankfully was three sheets to the wind already.

_xxxxx_

He took her to the all-night diner for a late late supper.

"I just told my boss that my kid sister was sick and I needed to get home. She was drunk; she didn't care," Sam said, picking at his salad.

"It's not like you to lie," she said, licking the ice cream from her hot fudge sundae from her spoon. He watched her do so.

"I do a lot of things now that I used to not do," he mumbled. "So, what really brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"Just to see how you're doing..."

"How'd you find out?"

"Rachel's big mouth..."

"I shoulda known, they wouldn't be able to keep the secret," Sam said, chuckling. "Anyone else know?"

"Do you mean Mercedes? Not that I'm aware of. Rachel told Tina and I overhead her," Quinn told him.

He looked a little saddened by that. Then, he smiled. "You gonna keep that red wig on all night?"

She giggled. "Maybe..."

There was a lull in the conversation when it had turned to flirting. Finally, Quinn asked him, "Do you have to go home tonight? I'd like to...talk more...if you'd like to." She walked her fingers across the table to his hand, walking her fingertips up onto his knuckles. He turned his hand over and held her hand.

He looked at her; her eyes pleading with him. She batted her eyelashes once at him and that did it.

"Where at?"

She blushed. "I have a hotel room...if you're interested."

He finished his salad. "I'd like to catch up, Q...let's go."

She never dreamed it would be so easy.

_xxxxx_

The hotel she chose was closer to Fort Wayne, not one of the rundown places on the strip where Sam worked. He followed her there in his car, and they went to the room. She unlocked the door and entered. She had been there earlier in the night, thinking _this is where I'll conceive my baby_. She wasn't too impressed with the blue and green bedspread, the burnt orange carpeting with flecks of black, the paisley drapes, but it'd do. At least it was clean.

"Hey, do you mind if I take a quick shower? It saves time in the morning when I go to school," he asked her. Then, looking at her funny, "Don't you have school in the morning?"

"I've called off already..." she said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Oh...well, lose the red wig...you look so much better without it," he said, snickering. He stripped off his shirt and jeans and went in the bathroom, whistling.

She pulled the red wig off and ran her fingers through her messy blonde hair. She eyed his jeans lying crumpled on the floor. When the shower water turned on, she went to his jeans and pulled his wallet from the back pocket. Her eyes nearly bugged out at the amount of bills he had stashed away in there, but that wasn't what she was after. If she knew Sam Evans, she knew he was responsible in one way.

She pulled a couple condoms out of his wallet, unpinned the safety pin from the hem of her dress, and pushed it through the center of each package a couple times apiece. She replaced the condoms in his wallet, then his wallet in his jeans. She kicked off her shoes, took off the dress and put on a t-shirt, and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting on him.

In the hot shower, he tried to wrap his mind around her being there, to him being in her hotel room. He had a feeling where this was leading and was thankful he finally started carrying condoms in his wallet. He was also thankful he had gotten through his awkward first time with some skank from his new school, during a drunken party after a football game...at least he had some idea what to expect. But, with Quinn, he just didn't know what to expect. When he dated her, she had been so classy and he had tried hard to ease her into sex but it wasn't working thanks to that idiot Puck and that whole situation she had endured before he laid eyes on her. When he dated her, sex was the farthest thing from her mind. Making out was fine for her, but the clothes always stayed on. He just figured he had two working hands and they did the job just fine after make-out sessions with her. What was it that Finn and Rachel had told him about her? Was it something about Beth? No, pink hair...she dyed her hair pink this past summer. He'd have to ask her about that.

_xxxxx_

Out of the shower, in only his boxers, he found her lying on the single queen-sized bed, on top of the bedspread. She had left only one small light on in the room. He came over to the bed, gesturing toward it, and asked, "May I?"

She nodded.

He lay down slowly next to her; she watched him get comfortable on the pillow.

"So, what is this Quinn? Why am I laying here almost naked next to you? What's going on?" he asked. Slowly, he reached out for her hand.

_Stop the tears, stop the tears, stop the tears_, she thought fervently. She smiled a little. "I told you, silly, I missed you."

She rubbed her thumb over the top of his hand, then down each of his long fingers.

"What happened to your pink hair? I would've loved to see that," he said, pushing her bangs away from her forehead.

"Um, it was just a stupid phase I was going through. Little do the other kids know but I took classes this summer and am now half a semester ahead of them all!" she said, clearly proud of herself.

"You plan on going to college then?" he asked her, running his finger down to her shoulder, down her arm, back to her hand.

"Something like that, yeah," she whispered. He lifted her hand and put it on his hip, wanting to see her reaction. She sucked in her breath, looking at her hand on his hip, and bit down on her lip.

"So, you missed me, huh? I kinda missed you too," he said softly, scooting closer to her so that their bodies were nearly touching. He kissed her then, unable to hold back any longer.

She let herself give in to his kiss, sinking back into the pillows. "I've missed you for so long, Sam..."

He slowly moved over her, pressing his body against hers. Before when they made out, she had always been on top. She was letting him be in control, he could feel it...he just didn't know why. He knew she was responding to his lips on hers and his dick was getting hard against her.

"What changed your mind? Why are you letting this happen?" he asked her, his lips kissing her all over her skin. He pulled the t-shirt over her head.

She wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him close to her, their noses touching. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder..."

Then, her tongue was invading his mouth. He almost couldn't stand how she was coming on to him. He stopped her, leaning up over her.

"Q...you're about to let me fuck you...what is going on?"

She sighed. "Fine...when I overheard Rachel talking about you stripping, it turned me on..._a lot_! Are you happy?" It was only a tiny white lie.

He smirked above her. "Are you sure about this?"

"Sam...I'm not seeing anyone...I just need to feel something, _anything_...and I trust you..."

He stared down at her, falling into her eyes. Then, barely audible, she said _please_.

He kissed her again, his lips trailing down to her breasts, parts of her body he'd never seen exposed before. He took each nipple in his mouth, hearing her moan in pleasure as he nipped at her. He really wasn't sure what to do but by the sounds she was making and her hips gyrating underneath him he thought he was doing something right.

He went back to her mouth. "You're making me so hard, Q...are you really sure about this? I'm not sure there's any turning back now..."

She looked up into his eyes, his sweet, trusting, do-anything-for-you eyes...and nodded.

"Okay, uh, okay..." he mumbled, hopping up off the bed to pull his wallet from his jeans. She watched him stand there and fish the condoms out. She watched him drop his boxers, his penis sticking straight out, pointing at her. She watched him roll the condom on.

He was back on top of her, pulling her panties off, then kissing her mouth, her neck, her chest. "I want you so bad, Q...always have..." he muttered against her skin.

She was a little bit nervous about the moment of penetration; she had been with no one else since the one time with Puck. Now, Sam Evans was between her open legs, caressing her thighs, _loving her_...she pulled his hips to her.

"Now, Sam, I need you now..." she whispered to him, making him moan.

He pressed his cock against her gently, watching her. He knew enough to rock his hips against her easily so he'd slip into her. Through the condom, he could feel the heat coming off her, her wetness...something he'd dreamed about many, many times.

He felt her entrance and pushed the head of his cock into her. Once he was inside, her tightness hugging his dick hard, he slid in more, his eyes rolling back, swallowing hard before moving his hips.

It didn't hurt, not like with Puck, and she exhaled. This time, she paid attention to how it affected him...it appeared as though he entered another world when she felt him penetrate her. He whispered her name, burying his head into the pillow she lay on. She could feel his lips, barely touching her skin, as he rocked back and forth on top of her. She moved her hands from his upper arms to his shoulders and up into his shorter hair. He lifted his head up at her touch.

"You okay?" he huffed out, his mouth hanging open a bit, his eyes dark.

"It feels right, Sam..." she said to him, pulling him into a kiss.

He glanced down between them, watching himself slide in and out of her. Then he said, "Move with me, Q..."

He put a hand on her hip to encourage her to move up into his thrusts. She began moving her hips with him and it made a world of difference to both of them.

"God Sam...it's never...I've never felt like...oh my god..." Her mind went blank as his thrusting increased against her. The pleasure she felt between her legs was so foreign to her; she had never reacted in such a manner to anyone's touch that way.

"Fuck Quinn...you came...goddamn, you fucking came..." he was mumbling to her. "Fuck, fuck, I can't..._holy fuck_..."

He pushed into her hard and stopped there. She could feel him twitching inside her. When he pulled back and pushed back in again, he moaned loudly.

Then, his mouth was on hers again, kissing her hard. "I've never come so hard in my life, Q..."

_I so hope this worked...if not, I definitely wouldn't mind trying it again with him_, she thought.

"I think that was the first time I ever have...thank you so much, Sam, thank you for making me feel loved..." she murmured.

"God, Quinn, I've never stopped loving you...it's always been you..." he said to her, still slowing moving in and out of her, still trying to catch up with his breathing. "What does this mean for us? I'm here, you're in Lima..."

She laid her hand along his cheek. "Maybe you can come see us sometime..."

"Us?"

_Shit, shit, shit!_

"You know, me, New Directions...the group..."

He pulled out of her slowly. He used one hand to pull off the condom, not paying a lot of attention to it, and tossed it toward the waste basket.

"We can't just do..._this_...and just go on...Quinn, I want something with you...I want us to be together," he said to her, a pleading to his voice.

"We've got all the time in the world to talk, Sam...you need your rest now..."

"I'll call off school too..."

"Shhh...just sleep a little, Sam...I'll wake you up in a couple hours," she whispered.

He closed his eyes, curled up next to her. "I've always loved you too," she whispered when she was sure he was asleep.

_xxxxx_

She set the alarm for 7 a.m. and got up to gather her clothes. She grabbed the condom and took it to the bathroom to inspect it. Little to no semen inside it. She flushed it. In the main room, his wallet lay open on the TV stand. She pulled the unopened damaged condom from it and tossed it in her purse; she didn't want him getting some other girl pregnant. She looked at him one more time, sleeping peacefully, naked under the sheet. She kissed his cheek lightly, grabbed her purse, her bag, and keys, and left.

_xxxxx_

When the alarm blared at 7 a.m., he sat straight up in bed, rubbing his eyes, trying to make sense of where he was. He turned the alarm off. A hotel. He had been there with Quinn the night before.

"Quinn?" he asked the empty room. He got up to go to the bathroom. No sign of her or her stuff in the room.

"You have got to be fuckin' kiddin' me..." he said to no one.

He tried to get a hold of her but finally started giving up when she was never home when he called or no one would answer. She never returned his calls, not once. He considered driving to Lima to find her and ask her what was going on but he was too confused and too hurt to try that.

_xxxxx_

A month after her night with Sam, Quinn received her high school diploma from McKinley and moved to Cincinnati to live with her single aunt. She told her mother to tell no one where she had gone, not her friends, not Sam, not Puck, no one. She said she wanted to make a fresh start. Once she settled in with her aunt, she bought two tests. Both were positive, and she went to see a doctor.

The OB/GYN confirmed her pregnancy. She confided to her aunt that she was indeed expecting but gave her no details about the father. She found a job at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, working in laundry. She stayed there for 3 months and then moved to a position at the switchboard. Her due date was in August.

Her mother called her, telling her Sam had been calling but his calls had stopped. Quinn's heart dropped a little, but she knew it was for the best that he didn't know. He wouldn't want to be tied down with a child this young in his life. Maybe someday she'd tell him.

_xxxxx_

No one he knew in Lima knew where Quinn had gone. Finally, he drove into Ohio, to Lima, and knocked on her door. Her mother answered, looking confused to see him standing there. It was early spring but still cold; he could see his breath.

"Mrs. Fabray? I'm Sam Evans, a friend of Quinn's," he said as politely as he could muster.

"Of course, Sam! I remember you! You and Quinn dated briefly, correct?" she asked nicely, letting him come in.

"Yes, ma'am, a year or so ago." He sat down on the sofa. "Mrs. Fabray, I really need to talk to Quinn, but I can't seem to locate her."

Her mother sat across from him wringing her hands. "Sam, she doesn't live here in Lima anymore. She moved, she said she needed a fresh start. I'm sorry, Sam, that's all I can tell you."

"Can I leave a note for you to send to her then? It's important," he said quietly, pulling an envelope from his jacket.

"Sure Sam…I'll make sure it gets to her," her mother said.

He stood up. "Can you answer me one thing?"

Her mother looked at him.

"Is she married or involved with someone?"

"Not that I know of, Sam," she said.

"Thank you, Mrs. Fabray. I appreciate your help," Sam told her.

He left Lima that day and never returned.

_xxxxx_

Working at the hospital, one of Quinn's benefits was tuition assistance. She had some college credits that she earned while in high school and she started a physical therapy assistant program offered at the hospital by a local community college.

At a monthly checkup, her doctor told her she was doubly blessed…she was pregnant with twins.

_xxxxx_

Quinn had some moments during the pregnancy, especially after she learned she was carrying twins, when she yearned to talk to Sam and let him know. She followed his life on the internet where he posted updates about his life on Facebook. He was dating a girl at his school, a cute blonde, a cheerleader no less. Right before the twins were born, he posted that Tiffany, the girlfriend, had talked him into trying out for football his senior year and he was now the quarterback. Quinn knew she had made the right decision.

_xxxxx_

She wanted to be surprised at the birth, and she was. The twins were a boy and a girl. She delivered them with her aunt by her side and cried when she saw them. She knew she and Sam would make perfect babies, and they had.

_The Cincinnati Evening Times_  
><em>August 20, 2012<em>  
><em>Fabray: Twins: Clarice Noelle, 5 pounds 5 ounces, 17 inches<em>_; Beckett Samuel, 5 pounds 5 ounces, 17 inches_

**A/N:** **There is an epilogue coming up! Also, I don't condone what Quinn did here (deceiving Sam). And, I have no idea about strip club laws in Indiana; I made all that up!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 1**_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.**

"Mooooooooom! I can't find my right shoe!"

"Clar, check under the couch…hurry! We're running late!" Quinn hollered from the bathroom, running a brush through her hair. _That kid would lose her head if it wasn't attached_, Quinn thought about Clarice. Early on, when Clarice had become mobile, Quinn had nicknamed her Clar, pronounced "Claire," since she was chasing her constantly it seemed.

"Mom, I have play rehearsal today after school…don't forget to pick me up!"

"I won't, Beck…how could I ever forget you?" Quinn told her 8-year-old son. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching her apply her makeup quickly.

"Could you help Clar find her shoe, please? She just can never keep track of both of them," Quinn said, laughing.

"Sure, mom…" Running down the hallway, then down the stairs, she heard him yelling _Clarice!_

Most mornings went in this fashion, busy. Since the kids started school and Quinn began her work as a full-time physical therapy assistant, everything was a whirlwind. She made decent money at the hospital, enough to afford a townhouse in the suburbs of Cincinnati, enough to provide for her and her twins. She was happy, happy with her children, happy with her career, happy with her friends and family and occasional date here and there.

The kids had yet to ask about their father, or lack of one. She had followed Sam via Facebook through the years…when he graduated high school and announced his plans to attend Purdue University to study engineering; his switch to Ball State University when he decided to go into teaching; his engagement, then his status change to "it's complicated," then to "single." She cheered silently for him when he told the world he got his first job as a teacher in Fort Wayne, then cried a little when she read he was "in a relationship" with Tiffany, the blonde cheerleader, again. She almost wrote to him when he posted his little brother had been in a serious car accident, sustaining severe breaks to his leg and arm, on icy roads in Ohio. He had written that he was taking a leave of absence to help his family with his little brother's recovery; she held her breath when she read the words "in Cincinnati." His relationship status changed back to "single" again.

Sometimes, in a moment of weakness, she would pull out the letter he had written her when he was 17, that he had given to her mother to send to wherever she was…

_Quinn…_

_I don't even know where to begin…you left me so confused and heartbroken. Why did you do it again? What happened between us was special, so special, to me…and I thought to you too. But, I guess I was wrong. I was never angry with you…just sad, I guess, that you would leave me. But then I left you…when I left Ohio._

_I don't know what else to say to you…except I'll always be looking for you and someday I'll find you, I know it. We were meant to be together, Q…I wish you'd believe it too, like I do._

_The night we spent together meant everything to me, Quinn, it meant the world to me…all I want is you, forever. I'd give anything to hold you in my arms right now. I'd never leave you again…I wish you'd give __**us **__another chance or talk to me or something. You wanted someone to love you…I'm right here._

_I guess it's true what you said…absence does make the heart grow fonder._

_Always looking for you…Sam_

_xxxxx_

She dropped the twins off at their elementary school, both of them reminding her of their schedules again: Clarice would be at basketball practice until 4 p.m. and Beck would be at play rehearsal until 4:30 p.m. She told them where to wait on her and she'd be there as soon as she finished up at work.

She got to the hospital and parked in the garage, rushing in through the employee entrance to the physical therapy department. She went to her desk in the office she shared with the other PTAs to go over her case load for the day. Her first patient would be there at 8:30 a.m., and she would be seeing people until 3:30 p.m. _Whew, I can get out on time to pick up Clar, run to the market, pick up Beck, run home, cook supper, do homework, baths, sleep!_ she thought.

It was after she returned from lunch that her world basically crumbled around her.

_xxxxx_

"Quinn? Quinn Fabray?" a male voice asked from one of the other physical therapy gyms. She had been walking through the area, several different gym-style rehabilitation areas, on her way to meet her next patient when the voice stopped her.

She looked and saw a smiling Sam Evans waving at her. He stood up. "You remember me, right?" he asked, walking up to her.

_Of course I remember you…I kiss your children goodnight every night…_

He hugged her quickly, awkwardly. "We went to McKinley together…ages ago. Sam Evans…" He kept talking when she didn't say anything.

He was still taller than her, still very muscular, but he looked so much more _happy_ than he did the last time she saw him. His hair was a bit longer but styled, and he had a light beard and mustache.

"Yes, of course, Sam, I remember you! It's been such a long time…" she said.

Then…an awkward silence, both remembering how their relationship had ended.

"Um, well, I'm here with Stevie…you work here?" he asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Yes, I do. Actually, I need to go meet my next patient. It was great seeing you again, Sam," Quinn said, squeezing his upper arm lightly and walking away.

She was flustered as she walked to the reception area to get her next patient.

_xxxxx_

Sam couldn't believe it. He had offered to take Stevie to therapy and there she was…the elusive Quinn Fabray, looking as beautiful as the last time he had seen her, when he was 17. She was walking through the therapy department, determined, confident, when he called her name.

She saw him and it was like she shattered before his eyes. The confidence, determination…gone…replaced with shaking nervousness, shyness when he hugged her.

It got awkward fast, and she walked away. Before she left him, though, he noticed her bare left ring finger. He sat back down and watched Stevie go through his exercises to rebuild and strengthen the muscles in his arm and leg that had been injured. He knew before he left that department he would find her again and try to set up a date…she wasn't getting away from him again.

_xxxxx_

"You can't run away this time…" he said to her, while she was working with a patient. The little old lady was sitting on the bench, moving her right ankle in circles to the left and then to the right.

"Sam, I'm with a patient right now…maybe later…"

"I'd like to meet you for coffee or dinner…anything Quinn…" he said to her.

The lady snickered. "He seems like a nice boy, Quinn," she said.

"Thank you, Mrs. Willoughby…he usually is. Right now, he's being somewhat _intrusive_," Quinn said, glancing at Sam, throwing daggers his way.

"Oh, not in the least! Have a seat with us, Sam!"

"Thank you, Mrs. Willoughby, but I need to get my little brother home. Quinn, it was nice seeing you," Sam said, tipping his invisible hat and walking to the reception area to catch up with Stevie.

"Quinn, run after that sweet boy! I'll do my exercises…go set up a date for coffee with him," Mrs. Willoughby encouraged her.

Quinn sighed. She would like to see Sam outside of work, to catch up. Maybe she would like that, she wasn't sure. Seeing him again had shaken her to her core.

"Okay, but only because you asked me to…work your left ankle next, and then your right wrist and your left wrist," Quinn told her.

She caught up with Sam and Stevie leaving the therapy department.

"Samuel…" she said.

He turned, shocked to see her standing there.

"Hi Stevie…how're you doing?"

"I've been better…didn't you used to babysit me and Stace?" Stevie asked her.

"Yep, that was me…uh, Sam, about coffee…when is a good time for you?"

She saw the blush creep up his cheeks. He hadn't lost that adorable feature of his, she noticed.

"Almost anytime…"

"Weekends are best for me…here's my card…contact me," she told him. "I need to get back to Mrs. Willoughby. It was good to see you."

He took her card and slid it into his wallet.

"I'll do that. Take care, Quinn," he said, smiling.

_xxxxx_

He could not believe his luck...seeing Quinn Fabray at the therapy department with his kid brother. And no ring on her finger! Since she had disappeared from his life, he had somewhat been carrying a torch for her. He had tried to move on with his life, even been engaged at one point, but it just didn't feel right to him. The love he had felt for Quinn when he was a 17-year-old was maybe the purest, truest form of love he had ever felt. He had advanced in his career but that was now on hold while he helped out his family with taking care of Stevie. He was able to pick up substitute teaching jobs but still had quite a bit in his savings from his days as a male stripper, something he was definitely not proud of and definitely omitted from his resume.

He looked at her business card. _Quinn L. Fabray, PTA_ and all her contact information and her picture. She was smiling in her picture; she looked truly happy.

When she had realized it was him, though, he could sense a change in her demeanor. He wasn't sure if it was _him_ or just because she was at work and had things to do. He hoped it was because she was at work. The day after he ran into her, he called her business line at the hospital.

_Hey Quinn...it's me, Sam...just wondering about maybe meeting for coffee this Saturday? I'd really love to talk more with you. You can reach me at, uh, 513-862-0059. Uh, thanks...bye..._

_xxxxx_

She listened to the message several times, falling hard for his soft deep voice, but finding none of the confidence she had when she chased him down at the therapy department. _I am 26 years old, not a lovesick teenager!_ she thought. She picked up the phone and dialed his number, getting his voicemail.

_Sorry Sam...I have plans Saturday. Maybe some other time. Bye..._

It wasn't a lie. Beck's play was that Saturday.

She watched Beck perform on stage as Tiny Tim in _A Christmas Carol_at the civic theater and for a brief moment wondered if she should've invited Sam. Looking at her two kids, the two kids who took strongly after Sam, sometimes made her question her decision to not tell him about them. She knew she had gone about it very underhandedly, but, in her mind, she held good on her promise...she was able to take care of them on her own with no help from him...she never wanted to place any burden on him.

_xxxxx_

From that point on, it was a game of phone tag and emails. He decided he wasn't going to give up so easily this time. When he was 17, it had been somewhat easier, with her in Ohio and him in Indiana, for him to walk away. Now, though, he knew where she worked and knew she couldn't run from her job. He wondered why she wound up in Cincinnati. He wondered if she talked to their old friends from McKinley. He wondered why he could never find her on Facebook, though he had tried many times over the years. He wondered a lot of things and ached to talk to her, in person. He saw her at the therapy department occasionally, would smile and wave, but didn't want to harass her at her workplace. He figured he harassed her enough with voicemails and emails.

She would listen to his voicemails and read the emails, usually responding with a short but sweet apology as to why she couldn't meet with him. He was persistent in his contact with her, but she had to be strong. If he found out about Clarice and Beckett, she didn't know what she'd do or say.

Unfortunately, it hit home a few nights later. She knew that eventually the kids would ask about their dad and that day had come. The school was having a "Super Dad" event, inviting male figures (dads, grampas, uncles, brothers) to come to the school with the child for an evening of fun and fellowship.

Quinn sat at the dining room table, writing checks for bills and balancing her checkbook, when Beck brought her the paper announcing the event.

"Who's my dad, mom? Can I invite him?" he asked her innocently. She looked up at the blonde-haired kid, pushing his glasses up his nose. He was of slight build, his hazel eyes blinking, standing there waiting for her answer, head cocked to the side, his mouth half open _so much like his father_, Quinn thought.

"Um, no, you can't invite him. I'm not sure where he lives these days," she said, lying a little.

"What's his name? All the other kids in my class have dads," he asked her.

"Well, his name is Sam, like your middle name. He was...a good friend of mine," she stammered but then smiled. "How about asking Uncle Charlie? He'd love to go!"

Quinn's aunt had married a man shortly after the twins were born. Her aunt and this man were never able to have children, so they doted on the twins.

Beck looked disappointed. "Sure, mom...I'll call him and ask him."

Beck went to the Super Dad function with his Uncle Charlie and didn't ask Quinn anything more about his father.

_xxxxx_

Christmas morning was busy at the Fabray household. Quinn had been up half the night after getting Clarice and Beckett to sleep, setting up the bigger toys she had bought for them and finishing wrapping other gifts and putting their stockings together, eating the cookie and drinking the milk, writing a response from Santa...she fell into bed at 4:30 and they woke her up at 7. After a chaotic couple hours of opening gifts and going through their stockings, Quinn logged onto her computer to upload pictures for her mom and aunt. There was, of course, an email from Sam, written at 4 a.m. Christmas Day.

_Merry Christmas, Quinn. I hope it's a beautiful day for you. I realize I've been trying to communicate with you a lot the past few weeks, but I'm getting the message...you don't want to talk to me. I hope you do read this, consider it my gift to you._

_I can't forget that night we spent together in Fort Wayne when we were kids. It's burnt into my memory. I would've sworn it meant something to you too but it's very clear to me now that it didn't mean anything to you at all. These past few years, I've tried to go on with my life...I'm a teacher now when not helping out with Stevie. I was even engaged once but broke it off because, frankly, she wasn't you. That night, you said you needed to feel something, anything, and I was there for you...I would've always been there for you had you given me the chance._

_I'm happy for you, Quinn, I am. You're happy with your life and that makes me happy though it breaks my heart to not be able to talk to you. So, my gift to you...I'll leave you alone but I wish you continued happiness._

_Love, Sam_

"Mom? Why're you crying?" Clarice asked her, scooting up to her and wrapping her arms around her. Quinn stroked the girl's long blonde ponytail, thankful for the warm little body next to hers.

"Um, Clar, just something sad. I might have some regrets," Quinn mumbled to her daughter.

"What's regrets? Is it a disease?" the young girl asked, a worried tone to her voice.

Quinn couldn't help to giggle. "No, no, not a disease...just a feeling..." _A feeling that maybe I did something wrong_, Quinn thought to herself. She pulled Clarice onto her lap. "What did you do to your knee, Clar?"

The girl ran a finger over the bandage. "I got tripped on a fast break at basketball practice...I jumped right up though and they passed me the ball and I sunk it for 3 points!"

"Awesome!" Quinn looked into her eyes, _Sam's eyes_, kissed her cheek and let her hop down to go play with her brother.

She pulled up the reply screen to Sam's email and responded: _That night was very special to me._

_**A/N:** **The epilogue is going to be in parts because this story kind of got away from me, and by 'got away from me' I mean there was more there than I anticipated. So, a multi-part epilogue is on the horizon! yay!**  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 2**_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.

A few weeks passed by since he received Quinn's mysterious response. He stopped calling her, stopped emailing her, and only nodded if he happened to see her at the therapy department.

His phone rang at 5 a.m. on a Monday...a substitute job at William H. Taft Elementary School. It was second grade so it shouldn't be too difficult; he liked teaching students that age. He found the school at 7:30 a.m. and made his way to the classroom after checking in at the office and picking up his instructions.

The kids started filing in closer to 8 a.m. He went over the notes that their teacher had left. The school had asked if he could fill in for at least a couple weeks, due to the teacher's leave of absence. He okayed it and made other arrangements for Stevie. Steady work would take his mind off Quinn, he figured.

At 8:05 a.m., after a couple stragglers made their way to their desks, he shushed the class so they could say the Pledge of Allegiance and listen to the morning announcements. After the announcements, he faced the class to introduce himself.

"Good morning, students! My name is Mr. Evans, and I'll be filling in for your teacher, Miss Walcott, for the next couple weeks. It'll take me a couple days to learn your names so I'll call roll..."

He read the first name on the list, checking the kids off as they replied _here_. They seemed like a good group of kids, quiet, a few whispers, but paying attention to him and sitting still.

"Tyler Deckard?"

"Here..."

"Beckett..._Fabray_?" To him, it sounded like he said the last name in slow motion. He was, in a way, afraid to look up at the child.

"Here...I go by Beck though." The tiny voice made him glance to the kid in the third seat back, third row. A slim blonde-haired boy wearing glasses sat there looking back at him.

And that's when he felt his world crash down around him.

"Uh, class, if you'll excuse me for just a moment...I need to run down to the office...go ahead and read from your library books 'til I return," Sam said, leaving the classroom quickly, finding the nearest restroom.

In the restroom, he stood at a sink splashing cold water on his face. _There is just no way, no way, no way that can be her son...is that why she has been avoiding me? Oh my god, why was it like looking at a young me? Oh my god...jesus christ no..._He couldn't think straight, more cold water, he needed to get back to the classroom. He'd just avoid the kid, that's what he'd do. He took a few deep breaths, dried his face, and returned to the classroom. It was like his eyes were drawn to the little boy; there was no way he would be able to avoid him.

The kids were quiet, reading like he had asked them to do.

"Thanks guys...let's continue with the roll call..." He managed to get through the rest of the names and start in on their daily lessons, all the time sneaking glances at the kid named Beck.

He was giving them a spelling test and glancing at the roll call sheet. _The kid's middle initial is S_, Sam noted. _No, no, no, it just can't be._

After the spelling test, he asked them to take out their lined paper for handwriting practice. "We need to practice our cursive handwriting," he said. "So, everyone try writing your first, middle, and last names three times, in cursive."

The kids groaned a little, which was to be expected. Sam walked up and down the aisles, checking the kids' handwriting as he went, offering suggestions here and there. He approached Beck from behind. From over his shoulder, he read it (just barely, though, the kid's cursive was atrocious): _Beckett Samuel Fabray_.

He felt sick to his stomach.

_xxxxx_

At lunchtime, he had to monitor the cafeteria until the kids went to recess and then he'd have his lunch. He stood off to the side trying not to stare at the little blonde-haired boy sitting with his friends. The glasses kept slipping down his nose and he kept pushing them up. _Quinn really needs to get those adjusted_, he thought to himself, then sighed.

"They're cute, aren't they?" a lady asked him, following his gaze to Beck's table.

"Yeah, second graders are always eager to please...makes teaching so enjoyable," Sam said to her. "I'm Sam Evans, I'm subbing for Miss Walcott's class." He shook her hand.

"Welcome aboard Mr. Evans! I'm Mrs. Williams, the other second grade teacher. I was actually talking about the twins...she's very protective of him."

"Twins?"

"Yes, the blonde-haired kids...you have one, I have the other. She watches over him at lunch and recess; he tends to get picked on sometimes," Mrs. Williams told him.

Sam watched a blonde-haired little girl talking to Beck, her hair in a messy ponytail, wearing a basketball jersey over a t-shirt and basketball shorts even though it was wintertime. He was having a hard time breathing.

"What's her name? His twin...sister?" Sam gulped, stumbling over the words.

"Clar Fabray...well, Clarice...we all call her Clar," the other teacher told him. She suddenly blew the whistle hanging around her neck, and there was a flurry of activity as the kids rushed to line up at the doors. "The aides take them to recess while we have our lunch."

"Okay," he mumbled, watching the little girl fall into line behind her brother, whispering to him, making him giggle. He overheard her say _fix your glasses silly!_ He spent his lunch in the bathroom, sure he was going to throw up but never did.

_xxxxx_

He made it through that day somehow and made it to his apartment, not even recalling the drive there. He just kept turning their names over and over in his head..._Clarice and Beckett Fabray...Clar and Beck Fabray...Beckett Samuel Fabray_. He couldn't be 100% sure that they were Quinn's kids...he was sure there were other Fabrays in the world, probably even in Cincinnati. He decided to find out for sure.

He stayed late after school a couple days later, grading papers. Once the office staff had left and only the janitors were in the building, he entered the office and pulled Beck's file. Under parent/guardian, it clearly stated _Quinn L. Fabray_. Now, he knew for sure. No one was listed as his father. The only contacts were an aunt and uncle. He pulled Clar's file, found out her middle name, saw Quinn listed as her mother. They were born on August 20, 2012.

He put their files back and returned to his classroom, to the computer. His hands shaking as he typed, he pulled up the calendar and started counting backward. _Late December? No, it was earlier than that_, he thought. He went to a pregnancy due date calculator. _When was it? Sectionals were over...it was getting close to Christmas...oh god..._In the calculator, for date of conception he arbitrarily entered December 1 and got a due date of August 23.

He then did throw up.

_xxxxx_

"Hey mom, the teacher sent this home with me today," Beckett told Quinn, handing her an envelope, nothing written on the front. Inside, was a standard parent-teacher conference form, giving her a time and date to meet with his teacher.

"Are you in trouble, Beck?" she asked, eyeballing him. It would be hard for her to believe that her son, 2 minutes younger than his sister, would be in any kind of trouble.

"No! The teacher actually seems to like me! He's even sent the dumb bullies to the principal a couple times..."

"He? Miss Walcott is your teacher..."

"We have a substitute guy..."

"Oh..." Quinn said, putting the paper on the fridge with a magnet. She signed the return slip to send back in with Beck, stating she'd be there. The date was three days away, a Friday at 5 p.m. _A little late for a conference and on a Friday?_ she thought. _This had better be a conference praising my child!_

_xxxxx_

She pulled into the lot at 4:55 p.m. Only a couple other cars were there. She entered through the front doors and made her way to Beckett's classroom. She stepped inside slowly so as not to startle the teacher. Much to her surprise, she saw Sam Evans sitting at the teacher's desk, wearing khakis and a button-up dark green shirt and striped tie.

"Sam? What...?" she asked, thoroughly confused. _Why was he sitting in Miss Walcott's chair? This is definitely stalking, following me to my kids' school_...her mind was racing.

"Miss Fabray, have a seat..." He stood up, gesturing toward the desk front and center, smiling warmly.

She sat down slowly behind the small desk. "Sam, I don't understand..." _He knows, oh my god, he knows! Shit shit shit!_

"I've been Beck's substitute teacher the past couple weeks. Today, in fact, is my last day, and I felt a conference was in order," he said, walking around to the front of his desk, leaning up against it.

She cleared her throat and sat up as straight as she could. "Is Beckett in some sort of trouble?"

"Oh no! Quite the contrary! I've found Beck to be a great student, he catches on to concepts quickly, asks a lot of questions, he's a _very honest_ little boy...my question for you is does he take after you or his father?"

"Sam, I can explain..."

"Who's his father, Quinn? Who's Clarice's father? Were you going to keep this from me forever?" He leaned forward, planting his hands squarely on her desk, confronting her, nose to nose. She held her breath. "Were you going to keep _them_ from me forever?"

She felt like she was suffocating. "How did you...how did you know they were here? At this school?"

He chuckled. "Fate. The school called me to sub in Beck's class...that's how I found out."

"I'm so sorry, Sam..."

"I don't want to hear it, Quinn! I tried my best to get to you, back then and even now, and you keep...keep putting me off! I don't understand it! What have I done to you to make you hate me so?" He was angry and it was bubbling to the top. He was pacing around the room.

"I never hated you, Sam...I...I didn't want to ruin your life..."

"Ruin my life? Ruin my life, Quinn? The way I see it you've ruined _the last 8 years _of my life!" He stopped at the front of the classroom, holding his head in his hands. "I just don't get it...how could you not tell me?"

She looked at her hands clasped together tightly on the desk, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Quietly, he said, "This was wrong...I should've never asked you to come here. You can go."

She stood up and went to him, putting her hand on his arm. "I'm sor-"

"I said, I don't want your apologies! I can't...I can't talk to you right now...just leave." The last words came out as a whisper.

She went to the desk, picked up her purse, and walked to the door of the classroom. She turned, her face red and tear-stained. "Sam...please...I am so, so sorry."

He had sat at his desk, his head in his hands but didn't respond to her. He heard her footfalls soon thereafter moving swiftly down the hall. He had never felt so alone.


	4. Chapter 4

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 3**_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.

Driving in the snow, she cried. She slammed the stupid steering wheel. Her nose was running and she didn't care. She hated herself, hated herself for making Sam feel that way, for keeping the kids a secret for so long. When they were younger, it seemed like the right thing to do. Now, she realized, she had hurt Sam, her kids were missing out on knowing their father, she had hurt herself.

She honked outside her aunt's house and Clarice and Beckett came slipping and sliding out to the car.

"Mom?" Beckett asked her. "Am I in trouble?"

Quinn sniffed. "Nope...all is good." She tried to smile.

Clarice flipped on the radio. _Here's an oldie but goodie from 2011, a Katy Perry hit, The One That Got Away!_

Quinn began humming along to the song; she remembered hearing it then.

"Mom, you like Katy Perry?" Clar asked her. "She just had another baby! Can you believe it?"

Quinn nodded, listening to the words and then began singing along. The kids loved it when she sang to the radio:

_In another life,_  
><em>I would be your girl,<em>  
><em>We'd keep all our promises,<em>  
><em>Be us against the world...<em>

_In another life,_  
><em>I would make you stay,<em>  
><em>So I don't have to say,<em>  
><em>You were the one that got away...<em>

"Mom, don't cry. What's wrong?" Beckett asked her. He always could sense if something was amiss with her.

"Nothing...nothing's wrong...just Katy Perry had another baby..." she whispered. Who was she kidding? They knew something was up. She was going to have to talk to them eventually.

At home, she locked up the place and sunk into a hot bubble bath. Her head ached. Her face ached from crying. She needed to formulate a plan or maybe she didn't, she didn't know what to do. Maybe Clar and Beck would take the news of meeting their dad fine. Maybe they wouldn't. Maybe they'd hate her as much as Sam did.

_xxxxx_

He needed to calm down. He watched her pull away from the school parking lot, her hand to her face. He had made her cry and he wasn't sorry for that, not one bit. He was angry, angry at her for lying to him, angry at himself for not trying harder to find her 8 years ago. He finished up his paperwork at the school and left for his apartment.

He changed into cold weather running clothes and took off on a jog. He ran down to the trail along the Ohio River and just started running. He didn't care how far he went or how cold he was; he just wanted to run.

_Just keep runnin', Sam...isn't that what you've always done?_ he asked himself. _No! I never ran from Quinn after that night...god, the night she said was soooo special to her too...Maybe you shoulda tried harder to run back to her then...maybe she was running from me then...you ran from Tiff, you ran from your engagement, hell you ran from Purdue...you ran straight to Cincy when Stevie was in his accident...you're always running! I tried, though, I tried over and over to meet her and she dissed me every single time and now it's clear why...how...how did this even happen? I had a condom on that night! Are they not my kids? They look just like me, act just like me...oh fuck...I need answers from her._

He turned around finally and ran back, exhausted and freezing. He stood under a hot shower in his apartment trying to make sense of her reaction when she came to his classroom. After his initial shock had worn off when first meeting Beck, then Clarice, he was enjoying getting to know the kids. He knew his time there was short, though, so he had scheduled the conference with Quinn, knowing she'd show up. When she saw him in the classroom, she had looked terrified, like a bunny caught in some headlights. She had a look of knowing, knowing she had been caught in her lie. He knew he had acted irrationally, he supposed, but it would've been impossible not to.

_Jesus Christ, I have kids...two kids...two 8-year-old kids...oh my god...oh my god...I've missed so much..._ This realization hit him after he had curled up in his bed. _How could she keep them from me? I missed them being born, their first words, their first steps, god their first day of school...how could she do this to me?_

He couldn't sleep, so he got up and went to his computer and began writing.

_xxxxx_

A week or so after their blow-up at the kids' school, he received an email from her that included attachments. He honestly did not even want to know what she had sent. The subject line read _pictures_ so he opened the message. The body of the email only read: _thought you'd like these_. It was Clar and Beck's school pictures from that year. He saved them to his hard drive and had wallet-sized copies made at Wal-Mart, which he promptly put in his wallet. But, he didn't respond to Quinn.

She saw him in the therapy department with his little brother after she sent him the pictures. He ignored her completely. She even tried to speak to him, but he was like a brick wall, humiliating herself in front of Stevie and the other therapist.

She left him voicemails and tried sending more email, but it became obvious after a couple months that Sam did not want to have anything to do with her. It killed him not to answer his phone or emails or stop by her place because he desperately wanted to see the kids as their _dad_, not their substitute teacher. He was still upset about it and knew if he talked to Quinn face-to-face it would be another argument.

The weeks turned into months and the calls and emails stopped coming. He knew they would; she was not one to bother someone else if she thought it was, well, bothering them so she'd just give up. He met a woman at one of the schools he was subbing at and they went to a Cincinnati Reds game but everywhere he looked he saw blonde-haired kids and just knew Clar and Beck were there; it was almost like he could feel them there. They actually were there but across the stadium from him, with Quinn and her date, a man who worked at the hospital with her.

After the game, the fans were milling around the front of the stadium, buying souvenirs, when they all ran into one another.

"Hey Mr. Evans! Hi!" he heard a tiny voice call from behind him. He turned and was face to face with Quinn, a strange man, Clarice, and Beckett.

"Uh, hi there Beck! Did you enjoy the game?" Sam asked, trying to come across as happy. He glanced at Quinn.

"We sure did! Tony bought us hot dogs and popcorn and fingers..."

The man with Quinn laughed. "Foam fingers...you know, _we're #1_..."

"Awesome…what'd you think of the game, Clar?" Sam asked, knowing she was a tomboy through-and-through.

"That homer when the bases were loaded was bananas!" she exclaimed, making Quinn smile.

"It was, wasn't it?" Sam replied.

There was an awkward pause then. Sam mumbled _nice seeing you all_ and maneuvered his date through the crowd, away from his children.

Quinn later had to explain to her date that Sam was an old friend. Something about the way they looked at one another set off alarms for Tony, and he didn't ask her out again.

_xxxxx_

Finally, Quinn sent a message to Sam. _Please meet me at the Childrens Museum on Saturday, if you're not busy. We need to talk._

It was summer vacation, so Sam's schedule was open. He had long since stopped seeing the girl he took to the Reds game, just wasn't happy with her.

He replied _what time? with the kids?  
><em>

She told him _11 o'clock, in the lobby, they'll be there_.

He said _Fine, I'll be there_.

The day before the museum trip, Quinn called Clarice and Beckett into their living room.

"Sit down, guys, I need to talk to you two," she said. They sat side by side on the couch, looking very much like twins. Only when they were babies had she dressed them alike, but now that they were older and dressed themselves she didn't enforce matching outfits but most days they wore similar clothes. Today, they were both wearing mostly blue. Clarice's knees were scraped up, her fingernails dirty, her hair in the usual messy ponytail. Beckett's hair was a little on the shaggy side, his glasses forever slipping down his thin nose, impeccably clean.

Quinn sat down on the ottoman, facing them. "We're meeting someone at the museum tomorrow, an old friend of mine."

The kids looked at each other, smiling. They usually liked their mom's friends.

"I knew this person in high school…he's special in your lives too," she said slowly.

"He?" Clarice asked.

Quinn nodded. "I know you've asked before, about your dad, who he is, where he is…your dad was…is…was a good friend of mine."

She heard herself stammering over her words.

"We're gonna meet our dad?" Beckett asked quietly, leaning forward, his eyes wide.

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, tomorrow."

_xxxxx_

There were three bedrooms in the Fabray townhouse. When they were younger, the twins shared a room but since they started in second grade they separated and each took a room. Most nights though, Clarice would sneak into Beckett's room and they'd whisper about their classmates, their mom and her aunt and Uncle Charlie, about sports, about fun things they had done or seen. The night before the museum trip, she snuck into his room and onto his bed.

"Are you nervous, Beck? About meeting our dad? What do you think he's like?" she whispered in the dark.

He lay on his back, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars and planets on his ceiling. He loved astronomy.

"I dunno, Clar. Do you think he's like us? Do you think he'll _like_ us?"

"What's not to like?" she giggled, sounding a lot like Quinn.

"What if he calls me four-eyes?"

"He's a grown-up, silly! Grown-ups don't call kids names. If he does, I'll kick him in the…"

Beckett gasped in shock.

"The shins…goober! What did you think I was going to say?"

That made them both giggle.

"Well, he must've liked mom at some point. Do you think they'll tell us why they never got married?" she wondered.

He shrugged. "Do you think we'll see him again? After the museum?"

"If we like him, I hope we see him again. If we don't like him, then he can go jump in the river! What if him and mom start dating?" she asked.

"Oh, I dunno…if we don't like him, I doubt she will," Beckett said. "I'm goin' to sleep. Big day t'morrow."

"G'night, baby brother!" She slugged him in the arm playfully and scampered back to her room.

**A/N: Just wanted to thank all my readers, for your helpful reviews and for being patient while I work on my other stories along with this one. I know I've said it before but it bears repeating: you guys ROCK!** **Thanks for keeping the Fabrevans dream alive!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 4**_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.

Sam got to the Cincinnati Children's Museum at 10:30. He bought his admission, plus another adult admission and two children admissions. _How does one prepare to meet one's 8-year-old children for the first time?_ he had thought the entire night before. He sighed and sat down at one of the tables in the food court and looked at the giant banners describing the exhibits.

The museum was inside the old train terminal in downtown Cincinnati. The entire lobby was the food court with reminiscent touches of the old ticketing station. There were actually three different museums in the facility: a natural history museum, the local and state museum, and a genealogical library. The main exhibit for the natural history museum was about the solar system. Sam could get on board with that; he loved the stars. He had wondered what Clarice and Beckett would say when they found out he was their father. They knew him as their substitute teacher but as their _dad_? He just wasn't sure. He knew it had been just Quinn, Clar, and Beck for nearly 9 years…would they let him in? Could they somehow become a family of four?

People were streaming into the building. Shortly after 11, he saw them enter through the doors farthest from him. He stood up and walked to meet them.

"Mr. Evans! Hi there!" Beckett saw him first. "Are you here to see the stars too?"

He had learned that Beck liked astronomy when he subbed in his class. Just knowing that little fact about the little boy, _his son_, made his heart sing.

"Hi Beckett…yeah, the stars, I'm here to see the stars," he said, mumbling a little. "Um, these are for you, Quinn. I'm sorry." He handed her a small bouquet of flowers. "And I have your admission taken care of."

She took the flowers from him, bringing them to her face, ostensibly to smell them but more to hide her teary eyes. She cleared her throat. "Thank you very much, Samuel."

The kids looked from one another, to the adults, back to themselves. Both shrugged.

"Maybe we could…we could all sit down for a minute?" Sam asked.

The kids ran ahead of them, and Sam let his hand fall on Quinn's low back gently, following her to a table the kids chose. He pulled out the chair for Clarice, then for Quinn. He sat down last, clasping his hands together on the table in front of him, afraid to take his eyes off his hands.

"Kids," Quinn started. "We had a talk last night…"

"Is Mr. Evans our dad?" Beckett blurted out. Clarice sat up straighter, a look of excited shock crossing her face. They both looked to Quinn. "You called him _Samuel_! That's my name too, Mr. Evans!"

Sam swallowed hard. "Yes, I know Beck…your middle name is my name."

Quinn reached over and took Sam's hand, looking at him for a moment.

"Kids, Sam is an old friend of mine, and, yes, he's your father," she said quietly. "He would like to get to know you both better."

"Is that why you came to teach at our school, Mr. Evans?" Clarice asked, resting her chin on her palm.

"That was just a stroke of luck that I wound up there…and you don't have to call me Mr. Evans…you can call me Sam…or, I guess, dad, if you want," he said to them, finally smiling. "I'd really like it if you called me _dad_. When you feel ready to. You don't have to if you don't want to." He heard himself rambling nervously.

"Uh, Mr. Ev- uh Sam? Can we go see the solar system now?" Beckett asked.

"Sure buddy," Sam replied.

The four of them made their way to the solar system exhibit. In front of a giant depiction of the solar system, Sam stood with Clarice to his left and Beckett to his right, and Quinn took a picture of them together. They asked a fellow patron to take a picture of the four of them together. Quinn later framed that picture and it took up residence on the fireplace mantel of any home they lived in.

A couple hours later, they returned to the food court for snacks and to take a break. They sent the kids to a vendor to buy some bottles of water.

"We need to talk, Quinn," Sam said to her. "I need answers about what happened."

She took a deep breath. "Things seem to be going well with Clar and Beck. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight?"

He smiled. "I'd like that."

The final activity at the museum that day was going to the IMAX theater and watching a movie about the solar system. The screen stretched up over the curved ceiling; the seats they were leaned back like recliners. When the movie started, Beckett whispered to Sam, "It's like we're floating in space!"

_Space is nothing compared to you and your sister_, Sam thought.

_xxxxx_

He had driven past their townhouse several times since learning their address but never had the guts to knock on the door. Now, she was inviting him inside. It was a cozy space, warm and welcoming. It wasn't spotless; people _lived _there. His children lived there. The kids gave him the "grand tour": the living room, the dining room, the kitchen, the laundry room, the three bedrooms upstairs. Beckett wanted him to see his stars and planets on his ceiling; Clarice wanted him to see her trophies. He was being pulled in two different directions at once. Finally, Quinn told them to calm down and stop bothering Sam; he had to help her with dinner.

Sam followed her to the kitchen where she had water boiling on the stove, a pan where she was mixing up sauce, and she directed him toward the salad stuff. He opened the bag of salad mix and dumped it in the bowl she had setting out.

"You have a nice place," he said to her. He rinsed the container of grape tomatoes and added them to the lettuce.

"Thank you, Sam. We've lived here since the kids were 2," she told him, adding spices to the sauce. She put some garlic bread on a baking sheet and added shredded cheese and popped it into the oven. "They love spaghetti…I usually make it a couple times a month."

"I had a lot of fun with them today. And you too. I really want us to be friends, Quinn," he said, adding cheese to the bowl of salad.

She stirred the sauce and spaghetti.

"I'd like that, Sam. And I'm sorry. For not telling you about them," she said quietly.

"I really wish you would've let me know, Quinn. I accept your apology, I do." He stopped messing with the salad and went to her and hugged her.

The flood of tears burst then. "I just didn't want to burden you…you were…you were the quarterback!"

The crying surprised Sam. Her mentioning him being quarterback confused him.

"Quarterback?"

"I followed your Facebook, since that night. I saw your girlfriend _Tiffany_, when you went to Purdue, then Ball State, your teaching job, even your engagement. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little happy when I saw you broke it off…"

"You saw all that stuff?" he asked, pulling away from her.

She nodded. He moved his thumb over her cheek, wiping away the tears.

"I could never find a Facebook for you…" he said.

"I didn't make one…so no one could find me," she replied.

"Why did you hide? I would've been over the moon if you came to me and told me you were pregnant! Even in stupid high school! I'm not even sure how it happened…we used protection that night," he said, lowering his voice.

"Sam," she took his hands in hers. "It was no accident. I…made it happen. I wanted a baby. Having twins was a big surprise."

"Not an accident? Quinn, you're not making any sense," he said.

"You'll get mad at me," she said, backing away from him, going back to the sauce.

He looked at her. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what she did, but he was sure he wanted to be in those kids' lives. Whatever she did he was going to have to let it slide.

"No, Q, I promise I won't be mad…just tell me how it happened…I wanna know," he said quietly.

She drained the water from the spaghetti while he took the garlic bread from the oven. He tossed the salad quickly and filled up four bowls.

She sighed and said a silent prayer.

"The condoms…I damaged them…" she said finally, looking at her feet. "I'm so sorry, Sam." She felt so small when she told him.

He let that sink in. "Okay…just don't say you're sorry…'cause then you're saying you're sorry that Clar and Beck are here and you can't be sorry for that. They're miracles, Quinn."

"I wanted someone to love and someone to love me…and I couldn't get Beth back…so I did what I had to do, Sam. And yes, they are miracles. They saved me, from myself. After they were born, my life turned around, it did. I couldn't saddle you with more responsibility. You were in Indiana; I was here. You can't say you haven't had a good life…you finished school, even college, you're a teacher…"

"Something has always been missing, Quinn, since that night…it never felt right with anyone else but you…and then when I met Beck and his sister…I didn't know what I had been missing all those years and suddenly I knew. It was so hard, Quinn, finding out about them, finding out I had been an absent father without even knowing it," he said, taking her hand back in his. "I'm not mad, not at all. Just sad that I've missed so much..."

"Is supper ready, mom?" Clarice asked, coming into the kitchen. "It smells delicious!"

"It's ready…call Beckett downstairs," Quinn said, glancing at Sam, then walking with him to the table.

Once all four were seated, Quinn picked Clarice and Beckett's hands and they reached out for Sam's.

"We say grace, Sam…it's just something I've always done," Quinn told him. "Would you like to say grace tonight?"

"Sure." He took the kids' hands in his own and bowed his head.

"Thank you God for a great day at the museum and this meal before us. Thank you for bringing us together, as friends and as a family. Amen," he said.

"Sam, you can sleep in my room if you want, since you like the stars and stuff," Beckett said to him.

"Uh…" Sam coughed and sputtered. "I have a place downtown. You can come see it if you want."

"Can you see the river from your house?" Clarice asked him.

"Yep…it's an apartment on the 19th floor," he told them.

The kids squealed. "Can we go mom? Can we?"

"We'll see guys. Don't pester Sam…"

"Really, it's okay. All three of you are welcome to visit my place."

He listened to the kids talk about their trip to the museum and most of the time he found himself gazing at Quinn and how she reacted to their kids. He was pretty sure he had never seen her so beautiful as she was sitting there doling out spaghetti and sauce and garlic bread and salad, the soft chandelier light making her radiant, her laugh infectious.

The funny thing was he suddenly saw Quinn's mannerisms in the kids, as well as his own. He strongly felt he belonged in this picture. He knew he was falling for Quinn again…it was always there, just shoved underneath confusion and doubt and sadness. Like she said the time they made love, it felt right. These four people sitting together sharing a meal, sharing time together, felt completely right to him.

After dinner, they played a rousing game of Sorry and then Uno before Quinn told the kids it was time for bed. She reminded them to brush their teeth and say their prayers. She knew they often would sneak into one another's rooms after lights out and snicker and whisper. She never tried to eavesdrop, just found it fascinating the bond they shared.

Before Sam left Quinn's house that night, he told the kids he had enjoyed hanging out with them for the day. Clarice hugged him; Beckett stood back from him though. The kids retreated upstairs and stood snickering at the landing until Quinn ordered them to their rooms. She walked Sam to his car.

At the car, he handed her a manila envelope.

"Um, it's just something I wrote...for the kids. You can read it, then give it to them, when you think they're ready...I guess," he said.

She took the envelope from him and hugged him quickly.

"Thanks for a lovely day, Sam. Thank you for not being angry with me," she said.

He held her for maybe a moment longer than he intended, then left.

_xxxxx_

Inside, Clarice and Beckett were waiting for Quinn on her bed.

"Hey, you two, I said it was bedtime!" Quinn said, smiling. She placed the envelope on her dresser.

"So, mom...we like him...we think it's pretty cool that he's our dad," Clarice told her.

"We just have a question, mom...why didn't he know about us before?" Beckett asked.

"It's complicated, Beck..."

Quinn crawled into the bed between them after putting on her pajamas. She snuggled up with the two. For so long, it had just been the three of them.

"Why didn't he marry you?" Clarice asked.

"He didn't know about you two until just recently. When Sam and I were young, I was kind of having...a tough time with some stuff. What I did was selfish...I wanted you two more than anything...and you two were the best things that could've happened to me then. And you still are today...don't get me wrong...but back then, I _desperately_ needed you..." She wasn't sure how much of that they'd understand. "Your father was young then and I didn't think he would be ready for the responsibility of raising kids like I was ready."

"So, is he going to marry you now?" Clarice asked.

Quinn laughed. "I doubt it, Clar. He wants to be a part of _your_ life and _Beck's_ life, not necessarily mine. Hop up and grab that envelope from my dresser..."

Clarice did so, and Quinn opened it. "This is to you two from Sam; I haven't read it...I thought we should all read it together..."

_Dear Clarice and Beckett,_

_Never in a million years did I think I'd be writing a letter to my kids. Kids I had no idea were mine. Fate brought me to you._

_I wanted you to know something about your mom...she's not a bad person for not telling me about you. At first, I'll admit that yeah, I was angry with her for keeping you from me for all these years. But, I know your mom...at least I knew her then...and I understand why she did what she did. I told her the night you were conceived that I loved her and that hasn't changed, not one bit. She ran away from people then; I tried so hard to find her. I didn't know about you two so I went on with my life. Then, fate brought me back to her._

_I've missed so much of your lives already, and, for that, I apologize. Had I known about you I would not have hesitated one second to be there for you both._

Quinn stopped reading aloud at that point because she was crying. Beckett picked up where she left off.

_Even the short time I've known you, I'm amazed by how much of me I see in you. Clar and your competitive spirit, Beck and your love of the stars...how much you both look like me but like your mother too...it's incredible and overwhelming. You sound like me, you act like me...I'm a father to two beautiful children._

_I want to be a part of your lives, no, I'd give anything to be a part of your lives...I suppose it's up to your mother, though. She's done an awesome job with you so far...I hope it's something she wants to share with me now. At one time, she said she trusted me...I hope that's still true._

_It's so strange...I've heard my friends who are dads say that they felt love for their kids the very moment they were born. I never really could grasp that idea...and then I saw two blonde-headed kids who looked like me and it was just instant...how could I not love you? There is so much to catch up on...when you were born, when you first crawled and walked and your first smile, laughter, words...it's overwhelming to me how much I don't know about you both, how much I've missed. I just hope with all my heart that I don't miss anymore._

_Love, Dad_

"Well, mom? What're we gonna do?" Clarice asked her.

**A/N: Just a note about the twins' reactions to learning Sam was their father...I wrote it like 8yo kids would react...a little shocked, then everything's back to normal. They seem to adapt fairly well to major situations most times and not try to analyze it too deeply. Also, I didn't consciously write Sam in this story from his character on The Middle, must be buried in my subconscious. lol I have been to the Children's Museum in Cincy and it's pretty awesome. Thanks for taking the time to read this!**


	6. Chapter 6

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 5**_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.

The next few days, the time he had spent with Quinn and the kids was never far from his mind. He wondered if she had read what he had written to them. He considered calling them or stopping by but decided they had his letter and he would hear from one of them at some point. His phone rang while he was on a run along the Ohio River. It was Quinn.

"How are we gonna make this work, Sam?" was what she asked him.

He paused, catching his breath. "I guess one step at a time...you read it then?"

"The three of us read it together. They want their father, Sam. _I_ want you in their lives..." she said.

He punched the air; she heard him hiss _yes_. _He hasn't changed too much_, she thought, smiling on her end.

"Okay...can you come over for supper at my place tonight?" he asked, teetering on the edge of giddiness.

"Sure...uh...Clar has a softball game...would you like..." She couldn't even finish her sentence and he was asking her where and what time.

_xxxxx_

He met Quinn and Beckett at the softball field, Clarice was already in the dugout. When she noticed he was there to watch her play, her smile could not have been bigger. He waved at her, and she waved back. _Is this what it feels like, having kids?_ he thought. _So much pride you feel like your heart will damn near burst out of your chest?_

He watched the game, cheering for her team, for her specifically.

"So, Beck, do you play baseball during the summer?" Sam asked him.

"I tried to last year but I sucked at it..."

"Beck...language..." Quinn interjected.

"So, I swim on the summer league...we're done now though," he told Sam.

"I like to swim too."

"I'm no good at it either but mom made me do it," Beckett told him.

"We can go to the Y and I'll help you if you want..." Sam offered. "I've got a membership and I can bring anyone." He almost said 'as a guest' but stopped himself, thinking it might make the boy feel bad to be considered his 'guest'. He made a mental note to change his membership from single to family at the YMCA.

"If mom okays it, then yeah, sounds cool," Beck said offhandedly.

After the softball game, they went out for ice cream and then followed Sam to his apartment. The kids were definitely impressed. They ate a quick supper and then explored the place.

"Yeah, I got a spare bedroom and one of the kids can take my room, I'll take the couch, if they ever, like, spend the night or whatever," Sam told Quinn.

"This looks like a bachelor pad," she said.

"Because it is, Quinn. If they stay over, they can bring whatever they want. Do you let them play video games? I've got a decent system...I'll even pick up some kid-friendly games for it."

"Sure, that sounds okay..." she mumbled, walking into his kitchen. "There sure is a lot of black leather here."

"Quinn..."

"I know, I know, bachelor pad, I get it..."

"Hey Sam, can we check out the balcony, please?" Clarice asked, already heading for the sliding glass doors.

"Yeah, stay back from the edge though," Sam said at the same time Quinn emphatically said _no_.

Quietly, to Quinn, he said, "They'll be okay...the railing is super high and sturdy..."

She shook her head _no_ again. "Beck is a little clumsy. I just can't take the chance."

"What if I go out there with them? I promise I won't let anything happen to them," Sam told her. "C'mon...you come out too."

She looked him in the eye and trusted him. She took his hand and followed him to the balcony. He opened the door and stepped outside.

"You guys stay back from the edge, okay? Orders from your mom," he said to them. He noticed Quinn protectively wrapping her arm around Beckett's shoulders.

There was a warm late summer breeze blowing in off the river, and they sat on the porch furniture and watched the riverboats and barges and speed boats for awhile. Sitting next to Quinn, he took a chance and reached between them and stroked her arm a little, then linked their fingers together. He caught her smiling in the twilight.

Soon, he caught a glimpse of Quinn yawning, so he stretched and said he had a big day tomorrow.

"When can we go to the Y, Sam?" Beck asked him as they walked to the door of his apartment.

Sam looked to Quinn. "I can go tomorrow afternoon...I can take Clar the next day..."

Quinn smiled a little. "Fine...call me when you're on your way. Thanks for supper tonight. Kids, what do you say?"

They both told him thank you and scampered down the hallway to the elevator. He grabbed Quinn's hand as she walked out his door, pulling her back to him, planting a kiss on her lips. His lips were soft, full, just as she had remembered them to be. She was just about to snake a hand around his neck when he broke the kiss.

"You haven't changed at all," he mumbled, pulling away from her, watching her slowly open her eyes. "C'mon, I'll walk you down..."

_xxxxx_

The next morning, he stopped at the YMCA and changed his membership, adding Clarice and Beckett Fabray. It crossed his mind, would they ever have his last name? More thoughts were crossing his mind, he noticed...how had she chosen those names? how much did they weigh at birth? where were they born? So many questions...

Later, he picked up Beckett. "So, what'd'ya wanna work on, Beck? We can swim, play basketball, lift weights..."

"Oh, yeah! I'd love to have muscles like yours da - Sam!"

Sam laughed. "Sure! I've been doing it for quite awhile now, but it shouldn't take you long to build up those guns." Sam reached over and squeezed Beck's biceps. The kid jumped at his touch.

"Sorry dude...I didn't mean to...to scare you," Sam told him, pulling into the lot at the Y.

"It's okay...I'm just jumpy..."

In the locker room, Sam changed into shorts and a tank top while Beckett shyly changed next to him.

"My mom said I had to wear this," Beck said, holding up a liner.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Sam said, chuckling a little.

Sam set Beck up at some weights and showed him what to do, how he worked different muscle groups of his body. Since Beckett had mentioned his biceps, Sam showed him how to do biceps curls and other arm weight-lifting exercises. Beck couldn't stop staring at Sam's muscles.

"You must work out _a lot_," he said to Sam.

"Yeah, it's kind of a way of life now," Sam replied.

After lifting weights, they decided to hop in the pool. Beck left his eyeglasses in the locker room. Sam took him by the shoulder and directed him to the pool.

"I can hardly see without them..." he mumbled.

"No problem...I won't let ya walk into any walls or off into the deep end," Sam said, getting Beckett to laugh.

"Do you know the four strokes?" Sam asked him once they were in the shallow end. With his glasses off, Sam realized Beck's eyes were huge, much like Quinn's, a beautiful hazel color.

"Kinda...I could never do the butterfly one right..."

"Okay...I'll see if I remember them..."

They worked on his swimming and actually Sam found he had a good strong backstroke.

"I'm kinda scared to do the flips on the wall when we turn..." Beckett told him.

"We can work on those...I had a hard time learning those too," Sam said.

When they finished swimming and went to the locker room, Sam's phone had several messages from Quinn, asking how they were doing, if Beck had his glasses on, did he stay in the shallow end of the pool, did he fall down any. He called her quickly.

"We just now got done working out, Q. I don't take my phone with me in the gym...yeah, I'll have him home soon...don't worry...he has his glasses on...he did fine... we worked on his biceps!" Sam hung up on her then, giggling with Beckett.

"She asks me a lot of questions too," Beck told him.

"I guess that's what good moms do, right?" Sam stripped out of his clothes, wrapping a towel around his waist. "I'm hitting the showers."

"Oh, uh, I'll just take one at home..."

"Okay, no problem..." Sam walked off to the showers.

Beckett sat there on the bench in the steamy men's locker room hoping he got his father's genes.

_xxxxx_

That night, Beck got the third degree from his mother.

"What did you two do?"

"Lifted weights and swam..."

"What did he talk about?"

"Biceps and how he couldn't do flips in the water either...

"He didn't mention me?"

"Nope."

"What about your glasses? Did you wear them in the pool?"

"No mom!"

"Did he make you shower?"

Beckett sighed and rolled his eyes. "He took a shower but didn't make me!"

The next afternoon, Sam picked up Clarice to take her to the Y. Whereas getting Beckett to talk was like pulling teeth, Clarice chattered endlessly, mostly about sports she liked to play.

At the Y, they took a half-court and played one-on-one for awhile. Sam was impressed with her skills, even for an 8-year-old. She told him she needed to lift weights, too, like her brother.

"You know, I kinda keep an eye on him at school..." she told Sam.

"Why? I know some of the other kids picked on him but he has a lot of friends," Sam said.

"'Cause he's my little brother and that's what you do. That's what mom told me to do after the first time..."

"The first time what?"

Clarice sighed. "The first time that other kid shoved him down on the playground last year."

Sam's heart hurt for his son. Being an elementary schoolteacher, he knew firsthand how kids were treated by bullies. Thankfully, it was more recognized in the schools as a punishable offense, but kids were kids and they had ways of hiding it, or not talking about it. It bothered him as a new parent that it had happened to his son. He knew that Clarice wouldn't always be around, 'keeping an eye on him', and Beck was going to have to learn to stand up for himself. Maybe that was his purpose in the kid's life, he thought to himself.

"So, I just keep an eye on him. The kids don't mess with him so much now since I...uh..." She stopped short, looking at Sam.

"Since you what?"

"Nothing. I didn't do nothing..."

He didn't push the matter, though he felt he should. It sounded to him that in protecting her brother from bullies, Clarice herself had bullied someone. He had to find time to talk to Quinn alone.

Since it was a nice day, one of the last days of summer before school started, he and Clarice went outside to a practice field and he worked with her on her softball pitching and catching, then batting.

On the way home, she thanked him for his help.

"Mom kinda doesn't know about softball and the coach is always too busy..." she told him.

"I had a great time, Clar..." he said to her, smiling at the cute little girl, missing a couple teeth, baseball cap on backwards, a few freckles sprinkled across her nose. When he got a good look at her, he realized she had his eyes, blue and friendly and trusting.

"Bye Sam!" she hollered, climbing out of his car and running up the walk to her house.

When he dropped her off at the townhouse, Quinn waved him up to the door.

"Did you two have fun?" she asked as Clarice breezed past her, yelling for Beck.

"A lot of fun...you oughtta come sometime...I got a family membership there..." he told her.

She smiled. "I might...if I can find the time. So, their ninth birthday is coming up, next week. Would you like to plan their party with me? I think it's time we introduced you to the family as their dad...if you're ready..."

Their birthday. A party. The family.

He paused for a moment and she took that as maybe it was too much, too soon.

"It's okay, Sam, if you don't want to - "

"No, no...I wanna be there...I do...it's just...it'll be the first birthday I celebrate with them..." he said, a little stunned.

"I'm sorry Sam..."

"I told you, no more apologies...what day?"

"Next Saturday..."

"Okay...that's fine..."

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you told your family yet?" she asked, biting her lip.

He shook his head _no_. "Not yet...it's still kinda sinking in for me...how 'bout your family? Does anyone else know?"

She shook her head _no_. "Invite your family to their party if you think it's a good idea..."

He thought of his family and what their reactions might be. "We'll see..."

_xxxxx_

That night, he stopped by his parent's house.

"It's been awhile, son," his father, Will, said, sitting down with him.

"Yeah, sorry about that...is mom around? There's something I need to tell you both..." Sam said, sitting on the edge of the couch, wringing his hands together.

"Is everything okay, Sam?"

"Yeah, yeah, totally cool...just, something I need to tell you both..."

His mother, Addie, entered the living room. "Hi there Sam! Long time, no see! How's your summer been?"

"Great mom. Uh, have a seat...there's something I need to tell you..."

She gasped. "You've met a girl!"

He chuckled. "In a way...a girl and a boy..."

Now his parents looked thoroughly confused.

"They're both 8 years old, almost 9, and...they're my children..."

His parents looked at each other in shock, then to Sam.

"How can that be, Samuel? Nine years old? That'd make you only…what…only _17 _when they were born? Samuel! This is not funny whatsoever!"

He couldn't help smiling at his mother's reaction. He pulled his wallet out and opened it to their pictures.

"Their names are Clarice Noelle and Beckett Samuel; they live here in Cincinnati. They were...conceived...when we lived in Fort Wayne, when I was a junior in high school..."

His father interjected. "Sam, just stop...start at the beginning! This makes no sense! You cannot be a father! Who's the mother? Have you had any, I don't know..."

"Paternity tests! Yes! Paternity tests! That'll prove you are not anyone's father!" his mother said suddenly.

"No, no tests...I'm pretty sure I'm their dad...look at 'em..." He handed his parents the kids' school pictures.

"The beginning, Sam...start at the beginning," his father said again, studying the pictures.

"Remember Quinn Fabray? The girl I dated when we lived in Lima? She babysat Stevie and Stacey?"

They mumbled responses _vaguely, I think so_.

"She came to see me when we moved to Fort Wayne...it happened...and the twins were born. I just found out a few months ago..."

"A few months ago?" his mother screeched. "And you're just _now_ telling _us_?"

"God, mom, it's complicated! I wasn't sure Quinn wanted me in their lives, I wasn't sure the kids wanted me in their lives, hell, the only thing I have been sure of is _I_ wanted to be in _their_ lives!" He found himself standing and shouting, so he sat back down.

"Why are you just now finding out?"

"She said she didn't want to burden me...they were born right before I started my senior year...she's taken great care of them...she works at the Children's Hospital as a PT assistant. It's just her and the kids, no man in her life." He went on to tell them how he got called to substitute teach at their school and wound up as Beck's teacher and confronted Quinn about them. "I've been spending some time with them all this summer, getting to know them. Their birthday is coming up and Quinn wants to introduce me as their father at their party. Next Saturday. Will you come?"

His parents were still holding the pictures.

"What are their names again?" his mother asked quietly.

"Clarice Noelle and Beckett Samuel...Clar and Beck..."

"It's just so much Sam...you just dropped this on us like a bomb...a great big giant twin bomb," his father mumbled.

"I'd like to meet them..." his mother said suddenly. "If these two adorable children are my grandchildren, I very much would like to meet them."

Sam smiled. "Thanks mom...now I need to tell Stevie and Stacey."

He found his younger siblings in their respective rooms. He leaned against Stacey's doorframe.

"Can you come over to Stevie's room? There's something I need to tell you two," he asked her.

"Sure, Sam," she said, getting up from her bed where she had been lying on her belly with her cell phone. "What is it?"

He followed her across the hall to Stevie's room.

"Hey, Stevie…there's something I need to tell you two…" Sam said, waiting for Stacey to sit down.

Stevie put down the book he was reading. "What's up, Sam?"

"Okay, you guys might not remember her, but she babysat you when we lived in Lima…like 9 years ago or so…" Sam started.

"The blonde girl?" Stacey asked. "She was so sweet."

"Yeah, the chick at therapy?" Stevie said.

"Yeah, yeah, Quinn, Quinn Fabray, so we were pretty good…close…friends back then and I kinda lost track of her over the years, like when we moved to Indiana." He cleared his throat. "It seems you two have a niece and nephew…"

They looked at him blankly.

Finally, Stacey said, "So, I'm an aunt? Holy shit, what did mom say?"

Sam looked at her, deciding not to say anything about her foul language. She was 14 and things slipped, he realized that.

"Wait…you're telling me I'm an _uncle_? So…you have _kids_ with that Quinn chick?"

Sam cleared his throat again. "Uh, twins…Clarice and Beckett…they're turning 9 soon…"

Stevie and Stacey looked at each other in shock.

"How old are you Sam? Like 26? How old were you when they were born?" Stevie asked.

"Um, 17…"

"And all this time you didn't know? How could you not know Sam?" Stacey asked him, standing up.

"It wasn't like I didn't try to find her back then…I didn't even know she was pregnant! She left Lima and no knew where she went and her mother wouldn't tell me…I just happened to see her at therapy when I took Stevie…so she couldn't run anymore. Then, I got called to sub at a school and Beck was in my class…"

"Wow, Sam…this is all kinda…crazy. Are you sure, that you're their dad?" Stacey asked him.

"I'm sure. Here's their pictures…"

Sam showed them the school pictures in his wallet.

"Well, there's no denying them…" Stevie chuckled. "Quinn wouldn't happen to have a little sister, would she?"

Sam eyeballed his little brother. "Uh, no, she doesn't…anyway, their ninth birthday party is coming up, next Saturday. Mom and dad are coming; I'd like for you two to come and meet them too."

"Did mom freak out?" Stacey asked.

"Yeah, but she came around, I think," Sam answered.

"Okay, I'll go…I'd like to meet these little dudes…if you're kids I'm sure they're cool," Stacey said, hugging Sam and going back to her room.

"You're sure Quinn doesn't have a hidden little sister or cousin or friend or…"

"I'll see ya next Saturday, Stevie…" Sam said, going back downstairs.

His mother hugged him before he left their house. "Thanks for letting us know, Sam. We do want to meet them and get to know them. How are you handling this?"

"Uh, it was hard at first…I was mad at Quinn for not telling me about them, then we've kinda been taking things one step at a time, getting to know each other, and it seems to be working out…" he said. "I really want you to meet them."

"We'll be there, son. We'd like to get to know them," his father said.

"Thanks…"

Sam left his parent's house feeling a massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders.


	7. Chapter 7

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 6**_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.

The week before the twins' birthday party, Sam took the kids to the Y or to Clar's softball games or to the park or for ice cream so Quinn could take care of their gifts and wrapping them and hiding them. He took them back-to-school shopping, along with Quinn, at a Target. He couldn't remember back-to-school shopping ever being so fun when he was a kid. He hadn't told Quinn yet, but he had applied for an opening at Taft Elementary and was hoping to hear back about that position any day. Stevie's therapy had come to an end so Sam needed to find full-time work again. The teaching position was the second grade class of Miss Walcott's; she had resigned.

The night before the party, Sam was at Quinn's townhouse helping her with last-minute details. She told him she always went all-out for their parties. He sat on the floor surrounded by balloons and streamers and wrapping paper and gift bags for their friends and said, "Really?"

She giggled and sat down across from him and started putting little treats in the gift bags.

"So, you told your parents, huh?" she asked him.

"Yeah...they were shocked at first, but they came around. My mom is pretty thrilled that she's all of a sudden a grandmother, if you can believe that!" he told her. "Stevie wanted to know if you had a little sister."

She laughed and fiddled with some ribbon and scissors. "You know, I can't wait for Clar and Beck to meet this other side of their family. I feel so bad for keeping them apart for so long...for keeping you from them for so long..."

"C'mon, we talked about this...no more sorries...no more regrets..." He pulled her close to him, up onto his lap, and hugged her tightly. "Remember, I told you that night, I wanted us to be together, Quinn...nothing's changed...well, except for the kids...but I've never ever stopped loving you." He was whispering against her neck, causing her to tremble. He went for it and lightly kissed her neck under her ear with his lips, moving his way to her mouth. There had been some clandestine kissing since the night at his apartment but nothing else.

"Sam..." she moaned his name quietly, pressing herself against him.

Their lips met, gently, softly exploring, then more intense. She parted her lips and he followed her, hesitantly touching her tongue with his.

"God Quinn..." he whispered, lifting her up on his lap, letting her straddle him. She moved against him until she could feel his hardness between her legs. The kissing heated up, sometimes he'd leave her mouth and go to her neck and her collarbone moaning against her skin. She ran her hands up through his hair and down his back, pressing him against her.

"Take me upstairs, Samuel..." she whispered. He stopped, pulling back from her, staring at her, his mouth falling open just like a little boy she knew. His lips were swollen and dark red, his eyes heavy.

"Are you sure?"

"_Please..._"

That was all he needed to hear. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her quietly upstairs, hoping not to wake up any kids, and pushed her bedroom door open with his foot. He lay her on her bed and shut her door quietly, turning the lock. He returned to her.

"So, do I have to be quiet?" he asked, grinning.

"We both do silly!" she giggled.

He began kissing her again, loving how she looked in the low light of her room, how she looked up at him eagerly. She sat up on her knees and pushed her shorts and panties down, then began tugging at his.

"Quinn?" he asked in a whisper. "Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

He stopped moving his hands on her as much as it killed him. "Has there been anyone else?"

He knew it was stupid of him to ask...nine years had passed since they were together, he had even been engaged! He had to ask though, knowing it was unfair since she knew more about his history.

She shook her head _no_. "I barely had time to date anyone..."

He let her push his shorts and briefs down and he kicked them off, crawling between her legs, pushing her back gently.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this, Quinn Fabray..." he mumbled against her mouth. "God, I wanna make love to you..."

"I want you too…tell me, though, have you?" she whispered to him.

"Have I what?" His breathing was heavy on her; he was aching to be with her.

"Been with…other women?"

He stopped what he was doing.

"Uhh…I'll be honest with you Q…since I found out about the kids, there's been no one else…" he said, quietly.

"Okay, Sam, I understand. You know I've always trusted you…" she replied, leaning up to kiss him.

"It's always been you, Quinn…I've always been looking for you…" he said to her, slowing the pace down, his naked hips quivering over hers. He let his groin touch hers finally, moaning.

Rubbing his cock against her, trying to put together a coherent thought, he mumbled one word _protection?_

"I'm on the pill…" she answered.

Any control he had was out the window then. He kissed her on the mouth urgently, passionately, moving against her, wanting to take her. He could feel her belly underneath him, heaving with her breathing, her hips arching up to his. He entered her slowly.

The feeling of being in her was surreal, overpowering, to him. He pushed in and out of her quickly, then slowed down before it ended too soon.

"I love you, Quinn Fabray," he blurted out, leaning up over her, staring down at her. "Please…"

"I love you, Samuel Evans…" she whispered. He leaned down to her, gently kissing her, his lips trembling on hers.

He filled her completely. She closed her eyes and let herself be taken in by his body, him rocking against her, her responding to his thrusts. He was hot inside her and her heat mixed with his made them sweaty. The bed squeaked quietly as they moved in rhythm; there was a moistness between their legs making the feeling even more pleasurable. She finally opened her eyes to watch him, reaching for his slim hips, watching him enter her body. His torso was shiny with sweat, he was starting to grunt over her. She ran her hands up his belly to his nipples and played with them, watching him close his eyes and groan with pleasure. He took her cue and lifted her shirt up and wrapped his lips around her nipples. Her back arched then and she whimpered, losing what little control she had. When she felt his thumb on her clitoris, she bit her lip to keep from crying out.

The intensity from her orgasm nearly caused her to black out or maybe she did, she wasn't sure what happened for a few seconds, her thighs twitched, she clenched herself around Sam's penis and just let the feeling course through her.

Over the years, Sam had learned a few things about pleasuring the fairer sex and also how to control his orgasms better. Adult sex compared to teenage sex was a completely different ballgame. He held off until he rocked her world, then let himself go. The clenching of her vaginal muscles around his cock during her orgasm made it nearly impossible for him to hold off and he considered it an achievement if he did…that night, he did hold off his orgasm and continued pushing into her as she came, knowing from experience that it made the lady's orgasm that much more enjoyable to have that penetration continue.

When she came down from her orgasm, though, she became a bit more vocal and her voice was what pushed him over the edge finally. He felt the orgasm building, his belly on fire before it happened, then it felt like it shot out of him over and over. By the time it was over, it was coating his balls and inner thighs, her legs too. He moaned into her shoulder, trying to keep quiet, but again with her it was the best sex he ever had.

He slowly pulled out of her and kissed her softly once more. He lay down next to her gently, running a finger through her hair.

They were silent for awhile, considering the repercussions of what just happened.

"I suppose I need to be going..." he mumbled finally, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

She sat up next to him, placing her hand on his leg. "I'd ask you to stay, but..."

"S'okay, I understand..." He reached for his clothes on the floor.

"I'm sorry, Sam, just the kids wouldn't understand, I don't think..."

He turned to her suddenly, taking her hands in his.

"Then tell me, did it feel right to you? Hasn't it always felt right? Me and you? Tell me the truth, what's in your heart Quinn..."

She looked him in the eye and said, "It's always felt right to me, Sam."

He embraced her, whispering _then we need to make this official_.

_xxxxx_

Sam got to Quinn's early the next day to help set up the backyard for the kids' birthday party. The excitement in the air was nearly palpable; he saw why she went all out on celebrating their special day. They were giddy, laughing, playing with their friends, just happy little kids basking in their moment.

Quinn's parents and her Aunt Karis and Charlie arrived. She introduced them to Sam but only as "her close friend." His family arrived. Quinn called Clarice and Beckett over to them, and Sam introduced them all, saying Quinn was a special friend of his and introduced Clarice as his daughter and Beckett as his son. He introduced them to Aunt Stacey and Uncle Stevie. His parents got down to eye level with the kids, taking them in for the first time. His mother teared up.

"Mom?" Clarice whispered. "Why's she crying?"

"I think she's just happy to meet you, Clar," Quinn replied.

"Mrs. Evans, it's okay...please don't cry...c'mon...help me make a balloon animal," Clarice said to Addie, taking her hand and leading her away. "You too, Aunt Stacey." Stacey took Clarice's other hand.

Sam overhead his mom saying to her _you can call me Addie, Clarice_, and his sister saying _you have such pretty hair!_

"So, you're my grampa then?" Beckett asked Will bluntly.

"That's what Sam's told us..."

"And you're my uncle, right?" Beck asked Stevie.

"Yep...nice to meet you, dude," Stevie replied.

"I'll show ya what Sam's taught me...bicep curls!" Beckett said proudly.

"You're Uncle Stevie can show you some stuff, too, Beck. He learned a lot in therapy." Beckett took Will's hand and led them off to some weights Sam had already given him for his birthday.

"Well, that seemed to go over well..." Quinn said quietly to Sam.

"I wasn't worried about how the kids would react," he replied, snaking his arm behind her back. "They're very accepting; you've raised them well."

"Thank you, Sam," she said. "Help me bring out the cakes, since everyone's here."

"Sure..."

Each child had their own cake: Clarice, all sports, and Beckett, outer space. Sam and Quinn placed nine candles on each of their cakes inside the townhouse.

"So, what time were they born?" he asked her.

"Umm...Clar at 6 p.m. and Beck at 6:02," Quinn said, smiling. Sam wondered what he was doing at that time on August 20, 2012. He was getting ready to start his senior year so was probably out doing something with his girlfriend at the time or working at the strip joint.

"Tonight, after the party, do you think we could look at maybe some pictures from that time?" he asked.

"That is a perfect idea, Sam."

"Are you ready to do this? Make it official?" he asked her, looking down into her hazel eyes. He bit his lip.

She looked up into his eyes. "Yep...I'm ready, Samuel."

_xxxxx_

They carried the cakes to the backyard and set them on the tables they had decorated earlier and lit the candles. The kids ran over screaming, the adults gathered around them, and they sang Happy Birthday. Clarice and Beckett blew out the candles and looked to Sam and Quinn; they were aware of the announcement about to be made.

Sam reached over and took Quinn's hand and smiled at her. He nodded to her, and she found the confidence she needed then.

"Everyone, I have something very special to tell you all. For the last 9 years, Clar and Beck and I have always been together, a family of three, and I thought that was fine. I was wrong, though. They were missing something, _someone_, and so was I. Fate brought us all back together a few months ago...Clar and Beck met their father. Sam is their dad, and he'll be a part of our family from now on. We have lots to learn about each other...it's very much a learning process for all four of us. Please welcome Sam and his family to our family," she said, her voice shaking in some spots after audible gasps from the small crowd. His mother was the first one to get to Quinn, hugging her tightly. Her parents came up to Sam, hugging him also.

The kids were anxious to carry on with their party so everyone turned to the gift-opening and then more games and then the twins' friends were picked up and the party wound down. Sam and Quinn's parents approached one another cautiously, introducing themselves to one another. Quinn's parents and her aunt filled Sam's parents in on some of the twins' quirks and their personalities. They decided to get together at Quinn's parent's home and get to know each other a bit better.

Once he and Quinn were alone with Clarice and Beckett finally, Sam asked them to join him in the living room..._he_ had an announcement to make. He had them sit on either side of Quinn and he stood in front of them. The kids were chattering about their new family members, about how nice their new grandparents were and how much fun their Aunt Stacey and Uncle Stevie were. They had been invited to the Evans' house and both couldn't wait to visit their grandparents there.

Once he got the kids to quiet down, spoke to them first and said, "You guys have added so much to my life...you could never imagine how I felt when I learned you were mine, _my kids_. I wanted you to be a part of what I'm about to ask your mom because it's kind of a big question and it's something I've wanted to ask her for a long time. And I need something very important from you Clarice and from you Beckett...your blessing." He faced Quinn and slowly went down to one knee.

Clarice grabbed Quinn's arm. Quinn's hands went to her face; she shook her head _no_; she couldn't believe he was doing this.

He took Quinn's hand in his and asked quietly, "Quinn Lucy Fabray, will you marry me?"

Clarice squealed, bouncing where she sat. Beckett was grinning from ear to ear and grabbed Quinn's arm. Quinn was smiling yet tears streaked her face.

She nodded to Sam and whispered _yes_.

He pulled her into an embrace and the kids dogpiled on top of them until Sam was on bottom with the three of them on top of him, laughing. The only other time that had happened in his life was with his little brother and sister. He worked his arms around all three of them.

Once they finally all calmed down, Sam said, "Clar and Beck, I want you both to realize that I love your mother dearly and have for a long time and I love you both just as much. There's no place I'd rather be than on the floor with you all on top of me."

The kids giggled.

"And Quinn, I kinda made the decision to pop the question suddenly so I haven't had time to get you a ring but I was hoping this would do until I can..." He dug around in the pocket of his jeans and brought out the promise ring from when they were in high school.

"You still had that?" she asked, shocked. She had returned it to him years ago when they broke up in high school.

He nodded. "Yep...I've had it all this time...I told you I'd always be looking for you."

She let him slip it on her left ring finger and she kissed him properly on the lips, earning giggles from the kids.

"Birthday wishes do come true, mom!" Clarice said, pecking her and Sam on the cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 7**_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.

"Mom...you look like a Barbie!" Clarice said to Quinn.

Quinn smiled, looking at them both in the lighted mirror. "Thank you, Clar, and you look absolutely beautiful...we are like princesses tonight."

Clarice twirled around her mother in the dark green velvet dress. "I guess a dress isn't that bad..."

"I told you you'd like getting dolled up every once in awhile," Quinn laughed.

Earlier in the evening, Quinn's hair stylist had visited them in their dressing room and now both girls had pretty up-do's, Clarice with shiny gold tinsel in her hair and Quinn with tiny rhinestones placed strategically through her hair. They were now working on makeup, then Quinn needed to get dressed herself.

"Are you nervous, mom?" Clarice asked her, squeezing onto the bench next to Quinn. Quinn looked down at her pretty little girl, into her curious bright blue eyes.

"Not a bit," Quinn responded. "Can I put some eye shadow on you, please?"

Clarice smiled at her, a gap-toothed grin. "Sure, mom...make me as pretty as you!"

On the other side of the ballroom, Sam was straightening Beckett's tie.

"And you pull the end through there, just like that, and look, you can adjust it now," Sam said, patting him on the head.

"Can I put gel in my hair like you?" Beckett asked him.

"Sure...and definitely some aftershave too," Sam said, smiling.

Sam had Beckett sit down in front of the mirror and he knelt behind him, running a little gel through his hair, spiking it up. Beckett laughed at how it looked. Sam smiled too, watching them both in the mirror.

"Mom'll probably freak out when she's this 'do," Beck told him.

"Yeah, well, she'll freak out when she sees mine, too," Sam said, doing the same thing to his hair. "Okay, turn around and lets slap on some aftershave."

Sam put a few drops on his palm, rubbed his hands together, and slapped it on his face. He did the same for Beckett, though used a more gentle technique for applying it to the boy's cheeks.

"I'm happy..." Beckett said.

"Yeah, me too buddy...very happy..."

"Happy that you're my dad..."

Usually, Beckett, although very perceptive about people's emotions, was not a demonstrative kid. Sam sat down next to him on the bench and hugged him close to him.

"I'm happy that you're my son, Beckett," Sam mumbled into his spiky hair. "We better hurry; we're gonna be late." Sam sniffed, hopping up to get his suit jacket, not wanting Beckett to see him crying.

_xxxxx_

Sam and Beckett stood with the preacher, waiting. Their family and friends were waiting. The music began, and Clarice appeared at the end of the aisle, making her way toward Sam and Beckett, leaving a trail of rose petals. She smiled big at her dad and brother, giggling to herself at their spiky hair. Then, Quinn's music began, and she appeared and slowly made her way down the aisle, unable to contain her giant smile. Even though she assured Clar she was not nervous earlier, her heart was now fluttering in her chest.

Sam watched Clarice make her way down the aisle, sporting a totally different look for her. She had put up some resistance about wearing a dress, but he was pretty sure he couldn't love that little girl anymore, even if he tried. Instead of her usual ponytail, her hair was piled on top of her head and a cascade of curls framed her face. She obviously had a little makeup on, Quinn's doing, he was sure, but she was radiant as she performed her very important duty during the ceremony.

Then, he saw Quinn. He held his breath, felt Beckett's hand reach for his, and just stared at her. He had seen the gown already, hanging in their bedroom but seeing it actually on her was entirely different. It was a strapless white satin gown with a bright red underskirt and red ribbon around her waist, the bodice covered in tiny sequins. She chose to wear a faux white fur wrap over her shoulders since it was the middle of December and she didn't want to feel so exposed. Her hair was done up much like Clarice's; they chose to do it that way. _She is as radiant as Clarice_, he thought, _my bride_.

She smiled at him and Beckett, mainly due to their spiked-up hairstyles. She saw Beckett reach for Sam's hand and she teared up. She took a deep breath as she reached Sam, Clarice, and Beckett. She took Sam's arm, he whispered _hi_ to her, she said _hi_ in return, and they stepped up to the preacher to begin the ceremony.

_xxxxx_

They stood facing one another, him holding her hands. She could feel his thumbs rubbing her knuckles...that's all she could focus on at the moment. He was repeating his vows to her:

_Before our friends and those so special to us here, on this wonderful day of gladness and good fortune, I, Samuel William Evans, take you, Quinn Lucy Fabray, as my wife, in friendship and in love, in strength and weakness, to share the good times and misfortune, in achievement and failure, to celebrate life with you forevermore._

She bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears. Another deep breath and it was her turn:

_Before our friends and those so special to us here, on this wonderful day of gladness and good fortune, I, Quinn Lucy Fabray, take you, Samuel William Evans, as my husband, in friendship and in love, in strength and weakness, to share the good times and misfortune, in achievement and failure, to celebrate life with you forevermore._

Sam turned to Beckett for Quinn's ring. He placed it on her finger, noticing the slight tremble, seeing the promise ring on her pinky finger. Quinn took Sam's ring from Clarice and slid it onto his finger.

She partly heard the words; she couldn't stop looking into his eyes. _You may now kiss your bride._

She was kissing him; he was embracing her...in front of God, family, friends, and their children.

"I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Samuel William Evans!"

She turned with Sam to face their audience. Clarice handed her her bouquet, and she hugged her quickly. They walked back down the aisle, now husband and wife with their kids following them out of the ballroom.

_xxxxx_

He hugged her tightly outside the ballroom, then picked up Clarice and hugged her too. Quinn pulled Beckett into a hug.

"Family hug!" Sam said, pulling them all together.

"I think I can breathe now finally!" Quinn said, giddily. "You two are the most handsomest gentleman I've ever seen!"

"And you girls are the prettiest girls I've ever seen," Sam responded.

"It was a lovely ceremony, Sam. I've never been happier," Quinn said, hugging him again.

"Then I'm doing my job well," he replied.

_xxxxx_

The ballroom was transformed into the wedding reception. Their introduction to their guests was as a family: _Introducing the Evans, Sam, Quinn, Clarice, and Beckett!_

After the wedding, Sam and Quinn were legally changing the twins' last name to Evans.

There was a lot of dancing and a lot of smiling at the fete. They chose to get married on a Friday night, the day the kids' winter vacation started, and the next day the four of them were flying to Florida, spending their honeymoon at Walt Disney World. The timing worked out well since Sam's vacation started the same day; he had got the job at Taft Elementary as the second grade teacher.

As the party wound down, it was getting late, and Sam and Quinn both noticed the kids yawning, struggling to stay awake. They decided then it was time to leave and they left in a sea of bubbles, courtesy of their guests, to go upstairs to the adjoining rooms they had reserved. They helped the kids get out of their fancy clothes and into pajamas, tucked them into their beds, then softly closed the door between the rooms and got each other ready for bed.

They slid naked underneath the giant fluffy comforter and got settled on the many pillows of the huge bed.

"I hope I don't lose you in here," Sam laughed, sliding close to her, wrapping his arms around her. "This day is tied with the happiest day of my life, along with the twins being born."

She snuggled into his body. "I agree...both wonderful days."

He kissed her. "Thanks for telling me their birth story in such great gory detail...it was the happiest day of my life but I wasn't aware. The video helped too."

She giggled. "You're welcome. The next time, you'll be there."

"The next time?" he asked, feigning shock. It was no secret that they wanted to expand their family.

"Oh yes, the next time..." she purred, rolling on top of him. She kissed him, slow and deep. "And the time after that..." Another kiss. "And the time after that..." Another kiss. Then, he chuckled.

"How many times are we talkin'?" he asked, caressing her arms to her back, bringing his hands around to her breasts, smiling up at her.

"Lots of times," she whispered, leaning down to his lips. Right above his mouth, she whispered again, "Lots and lots of times..."

He closed his eyes, relishing the brush of her lips against his. His hands trailed down her belly to her hips. She kissed him gently, her hair, now loosened, tickled his skin.

"I love you, Sam..." she whispered, kissing him then pushing herself up so she sat directly on top of him. She could feel his cock, hard against her inner thigh.

She took him in her hand and positioned him to enter her. He watched what she was doing, glancing up at her, then back down between their bodies.

He slipped into her gently; she watched his reaction as she slowly lowered herself down his shaft, her hands resting on his chest.

"Sam..." she whispered.

"Hmm..."

"Open your eyes..." He did so slowly, gazing at her. "Watch me..."

He groaned with pleasure, moving his thumbs to her pussy. She slowly lifted herself up on him. He could see his cock, shiny with her juices already, slipping back up into her.

She watched him as she moved upward and she sunk slowly back down on him, she moaned and let her head drop back. She looked back at him; he was still watching.

"What do you see, Samuel?" she mumbled.

He sucked in his lip. "Oh god, me going into you...I'm so fucking hard...you're moving so slow...uhhhhh...god, it's just so _tight_..."

"Should I move faster?" she asked, teasing him a bit, still moving slowly on him.

He nodded slowly, not really having coherent thoughts. "Please, god yes..."

"How fast, Sam?" she whispered, beginning to lean in closer to him, her hips lifting up on him agonizingly slowly.

"Faster...I wanna slam my cock into you..." he mumbled, closing his eyes as she got nearer his mouth.

"This fast, Sammy?" She picked up her speed a little. His hips were jerking up to hers.

"Yes, yes, please..."

Her lips were right over his again. "Fast enough to make you come hard inside me?"

"_Fuck_..." He wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and pushed her mouth into his, ramming his hips up to her, his other hand on her hip.

"Faster Sam..." she whispered to him, her breathing shallow. He pressed his head back into the pillows and let her ride him hard.

She sat up on him again, slowing things down, rocking her hips on him so that his pubic bone was bumping her clit rhythmically. She reached behind her and gently grabbed his scrotum, massaging his skin there. He pushed up on his elbows, groaning, then sat up fully and used both his hands on her hips to push her down on him.

"Q, I'm clo-oh...uuunnnfffff..." he grunted when he came, collapsing back onto the bed, still moving her on him.

She could feel his warm fluid running back out of her, making them both sticky. She arched her back and moved her hips in circles, feeling his semen stimulate her clitoris even more. He was still hard and moving in and out of her.

"Come for me, Quinn...oh fuck, it's so good..." he whispered to her.

She felt it building up; her eyes fluttered shut, waiting for the feeling to wash over her. He suddenly sat up, gripped her ass in his hands, and kissed her hard.

"I wanna feel you come..." he said against her mouth. He went to her neck and began sucking a hickey near her collarbone.

Her ability to speak was gone. She whimpered to him, gripping his shoulders as the shudder ripped through her body. She was gasping for a breath, whispering his name.

He held her close to him then, whispering how he loved her as she came down from her orgasm.

When she had regained some composure, she took his face in her hands and said, "I'm so glad you never stopped looking for me."

**A/N: The story isn't over yet! There's a little bit more. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 8**_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.

The next morning, the kids woke them up, which was fine with them, they were used to it. They were packed and ready to get to the airport. Quinn's aunt was meeting them at the hotel to retrieve her dress and the tuxedos and anything else that needed to be returned to the townhouse.

As they sat in the plane, getting ready to taxi the runway, Sam realized Beck, sitting next to him, was shaking.

"We'll be fine, buddy...just swallow when we take off, okay?" Beckett looked at him, nodding, and reached for Sam's hand.

Beckett nodded again and squeezed his eyes shut as the engines fired up and the plane began moving.

In front of Sam and Beckett, Quinn and Clarice were having a blast.

Once up in the air, Beckett looked to Sam, his eyes wide, and said, "That wasn't so bad."

"Not bad at all," Sam replied, ruffling his hair.

Their week spent at Disney World was busy but fun for them all. Quinn had only been when she was a child; Sam had never been at all. In many ways, he felt like one of the kids on that trip. He would occasionally catch a flash of gold and be reminded of the reason they were vacationing...his marriage to Quinn, his joining their family.

In the months preceding the wedding, he had slowly began spending more time at the townhouse and slowly began moving his belongings there. His lease was ending at the end of the year, so they planned on him moving into the townhouse and then possibly looking for a house. He also was learning how to discipline the kids, something he hated to do but Quinn assured him it was necessary, that he was their father and he couldn't let them get by with everything. On the Disney trip, he felt more at ease with disciplining them, especially after a long day when everyone was tired and cranky. He hated telling the kids _no_ and watching them pout and stomp off. It made him feel like a terrible father and since he had missed out on their first 8 years of life he really didn't want to do anything to upset them. Quinn told him, though, that he had to be confident in his decisions and she'd support his decisions and believe it or not the kids wouldn't be mad at him forever.

They were all a bit sad to leave the sunny warmth of Florida and return to wintry Ohio but Christmas was coming up and then of course school and work would start for them all again. As Christmas approached, he had a lot of fun with Quinn planning and then shopping for gifts for the kids. He remembered the past few Christmases he had spent either alone or with his family and now it was very apparent what he had missed all those years.

Most nights, they'd start a fire and work on wrapping gifts after the kids had gone to sleep. Other nights, they sat snuggled close together and went through Quinn's photo albums. They started with the pictures as the twins when they were born. He was shocked at how small they both seemed but then Quinn reminded him that _together_ they weighed 10 pounds 10 ounces, which was what she carried. He studied their pictures and the few pictures of her pregnant with them. He worked his way through the photo albums and she shared their baby books with him, denoting all their "firsts." He marveled at the ink prints of their tiny feet on their birth certificates. Quinn added his name to them where it asked for _father_. In Clarice's baby book, he noticed Quinn had mentioned him, not by name, where it asked how the parents came up with the baby's name. She had written _Clarice Noelle_...her father loves Rudolph and Clarice is the name of Rudolph's best girlfriend and Noelle for Christmas. In Beckett's baby book, under how she came up with his name, she had also mentioned Sam. She had written _Beckett Samuel_...his father likes Jeff Beck (a guitarist) and Samuel is his father's name. She caught him reading those sections.

"My frame of mind then was...kinda out there..." she said, remembering choosing their names. "I had just moved here to Cincy and just walked out of the bathroom with the positive pregnancy tests and Rudolph was on TV...I just sat there watching it, crying."

"I think you chose perfect names for them," he said to her quietly. "How'd you remember I said I liked Beck?"

"A song came on the radio one day and they said something about Jeff Beck and I remembered you saying you liked how he played guitar. I knew I was having twins but I didn't know if they were boys, girls, or what and I needed a good boy name. So, you had input with their names, indirectly."

One day close to Christmas when Quinn got home from work, Sam and the kids were standing in the living room, waiting on her to hang up her coat and kick off her shoes, all three with silly grins on their faces, the kids trying not to laugh. She immediately smelled cookies and the swipe of flour on Beck's forehead also gave that away.

"Hi Quinn!" Sam said, along with the kids chiming in hi mom!

She was wary of those three. "What's going on?"

"I was just wondering, have you ever noticed this crack in the ceiling, over here?" Sam said, suddenly serious, taking her hand and pulling her to the passway between the dining room and living room. She stood there looking up where he was pointing, not seeing any crack.

"Umm...no...what cr - "

He spun her around and kissed her suddenly.

"Gotcha!" he said, making the kids burst into laughter. "Clar and Beck wanted me to catch you under the mistletoe."

She laughed, wrapping her arms around Sam, kissing him back. "Those two had better watch out, as well! They might get caught under it too!"

"We just took the cookies out and are letting them cool...wanna help decorate?" he asked.

"Sure..."

Sam and the kids already had the icing and candy to put on the cookies and for the next hour or so they spent time in the kitchen decorating their Christmas cookies.

Living with Quinn and the twins made Sam realize that being a dad was an absolute full-time job. There was always someone who needed to be fed, who was thirsty, who needed help with their homework, who had an arbitrary question about anything under the sun. Someone always needed him to play a game with them, watch TV with them, read to them, ride with him to the grocery or to get gas. He wasn't complaining…it was just taking him a little time to get used to the _constant_ aspect of being a parent.

He crawled into bed with Quinn one night, exhausted, after a busy day of keeping the kids occupied at home, then a visit to the library, then exercise at the Y, then holiday festivities in the neighborhood.

"I have a very newfound level of respect for all that you did the first few years of their lives," Sam told her, cuddling her close. "Being a dad is probably the hardest job I've ever done…most rewarding though."

"We have good days and bad days, thankfully more good than bad. Since you've been in our lives, I kind of wonder how I went without you for so long," she said to him, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"They're great kids…I'm glad I'm getting to know them," he said.

She paused a moment. "Do you miss your bachelor days?"

He pulled her closer. "God no, Quinn! Most days, it was work, then go home and be alone. I really wasn't happy at all. When I saw you that day at the therapy department it was like my prayers had been answered. And then when you gave me your card…I literally skipped to the parking garage…ask Stevie!"

She giggled, kissing him.

"This is going to be a great Christmas, Samuel," she whispered. He kissed her in return.

_xxxxx_

The night before Christmas, Sam sat up late with Quinn, getting gifts ready for the twins.

"I've never played Santa before..." he told her quietly.

"It's fun but tiring," she answered. "It's nice to share it with someone finally."

She showed him how the kids liked it when Santa replied to their notes, and they nibbled on the cookies and milk.

They finished everything up at just after midnight. "It definitely goes a lot faster when there's two of us doing the work," Quinn told him. "I'm usually up until well after 3 a.m."

"Wow...c'mon, let's get some rest then..." he said, following her upstairs.

In their bedroom, she looked at their bed and acted shocked.

"How did _that _get up here?"

He saw the mistletoe hanging off the headboard. He smiled at Quinn and shut their door quietly.

_xxxxx_

Christmas morning started early; the twins were excited and ready to start the day. Quinn asked the twins to wait upstairs with her while Sam checked downstairs to see if Santa had made it to their home. His job was to turn on the Christmas tree and have the camera ready.

"Looks like Santa stopped by!" he called upstairs. "C'mon down!"

It sounded like a herd of antelope making their way downstairs. The kids were over-the-top excited. Sam remembered his little brother and sister being excited at Christmastime, but he was a teenager then and didn't pay much attention to them or what his parents did to sell the Santa Claus idea. Quinn made them sit down with their stockings first, after they checked out Santa's message to them and the big unwrapped gifts under the tree.

They both pulled out envelopes at the top of their stockings and asked if they could open those.

Sam and Quinn nodded, smiling. The kids opened their envelopes, finding the official court decree signifying their new last name: _Clarice Noelle Evans_ and _Beckett Samuel Evans_. They both hopped up and hugged Sam, both saying _thanks dad_. He decided then that that was the best Christmas he had had to date.

_xxxxx_

Returning to school with their new last name was a little bit of an adjustment for the twins but like Sam had noticed early on they adapted well. He enjoyed teaching at their school, able to keep an eye on them from a distance. It helped Quinn out also since Sam was now able to bring the kids home from school. Most days, they had after-school activities while he graded papers or prepared for the next day. Being able to come home right after work was somewhat foreign to Quinn but she wasn't complaining.

One day, she asked Sam to stop at the market to pick up some ground beef for supper that night since she had a meeting after work. He waited on Clarice and Beckett and then drove to the market, taking a different route just for the heck of it. He nearly drove right past it, but the kids hollered at him so he went around the block.

"I can't believe it's for sale!" Clarice whispered from the back seat.

"It looks so spooky..." Beckett said, gazing up at the old house.

To Sam, it was an old two-story Victorian, somewhat run-down, obviously not lived in. According to legend, according to Clarice and Beckett, the place was haunted. In the dark, to Sam it did look a little eerie with the tall dark windows and wraparound porch. He could make out gingerbread trim and a roof that looked in good condition. It sat on two city lots, all enclosed with a picket fence. He decided to drive by it in the daytime to get a better look.

The next morning, he did drive by the house, on their way to school, and in the daylight it didn't look so frightening. He was sure it needed some work done to it but all in all it was a decent looking home. He noted the name on the sign in the yard and decided to get some more information on the internet. It was no secret that they were running out of space in the townhouse and finding a larger home was on the agenda. The thing he liked about this house was it was large enough, it was in the kids' school district, and it was something they'd have to work on together to make their own...at least from how it looked on the outside. He still needed financial information, exactly what kind of condition the place was in, and to take Quinn and walk through it.

A week later, Sam and Quinn walked through it, then again with the kids, and made an offer. Their offer was accepted quickly, the loan paperwork completed, and they found themselves homeowners of what was once a beautiful home in the neighborhood. After a little contractor work and a lot of painting done by themselves, they made it their own and moved in over spring break. They sided the house in gray with navy and white trim. Everything they owned from the townhouse only took up about 25% of the space they now had so at the beginning the house seemed bare.

Until the week after spring break when Sam and the kids found Quinn at home when they got home from school. She was waiting on the porch for them, a cardigan wrapped around her in the chill of the spring air. She threw her arms around Sam, startling him a bit, but then she whispered, "It was positive." And he knew exactly what she meant.


	10. Chapter 10

_**ABSENCE~EPILOGUE part 9**_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee or to any product/song mentioned in this story.**

The next few months were busy ones, preparing a nursery and preparing themselves for the new addition to their family. The twins might have been the most excited, though at times it seemed to be a tie between them and Sam; they were gaining a new brother or sister; he was gaining a new child. No one would know until the baby was born if it was a boy or girl; Quinn wanted it to be a surprise. Sam was in awe sometimes, watching Quinn grow with another child of his, participating this time around. The first time he felt the baby move he didn't know what to say. The bumps and kicks made Clarice and Beckett giggle. They all talked to Quinn's belly, introducing themselves, telling the new baby about his/her nursery (they had chosen a zoo theme).

Sam did as much research as he had time to do, in books and on the internet and even talking to fellow teachers at Taft, about expecting a baby. Quinn seemed to have it all under control while he fretted about every possible thing. Was she gaining enough weight? Was the baby moving enough? Should she have all the genetic testing done beforehand? Did she have signs of gestational diabetes? Were those real contractions or Braxton-Hicks contractions? Was she getting enough rest? Did she need to start her maternity leave early? Did they have everything they'd need for the new baby? Sometimes, she'd tell him to take a deep breath, everything would be fine. He wanted her to go to childbirth classes with him so he'd know what was happening to a degree when the time came. Clarice and Beckett wanted to go to sibling classes where they'd learn about having a new baby in the house and safety issues and how to help their mom and dad.

About halfway through the pregnancy, Quinn had an ultrasound to check growth of the baby. Sam stood by her side, holding her hand, shaking. The twins flanked him, chattering with nervous excitement, until the doctor started the scan. Sam was again speechless by the images they saw. Quinn didn't want to know the gender; Clarice of course thought it was a girl and Beckett thought it was a boy; she just wanted the doctor to tell her baby was healthy. And he did. Sam saw the baby's face appear, then a tiny hand and all five fingers, and he squeezed Quinn's hand and kissed her cheek.

The due date fell on Sam and Quinn's 1-year anniversary, December 17.

_xxxxx_

December 17 came and went. Sam and Quinn celebrated their first wedding anniversary as much as possible for a 9-months pregnant lady and a very nervous daddy-to-be. Daily, he asked her how she was feeling? Did her water break? Any contractions? Most days, she shook her head, smiling a bit, and would say _no, not yet_.

Once the greatly anticipated due date passed by with nothing happening, Sam and Quinn focused on getting Christmas ready for the twins. They were busy with Christmas programs at the school, Christmas parties with family and friends, and last-minute shopping. Thankfully, when they did go out shopping and people saw the very pregnant Quinn trying to make her way through the store, they were met with cheerful moods and much assistance.

Quinn began feeling light contractions on December 21 but didn't tell Sam; it would just worry him. She was timing them to herself and they were very far apart and light, compared to what she went through with the twins' labor. She went about their daily tasks and figured she'd tell Sam if they became painful enough where he'd need to take her to the hospital. They had told her that during the early phase of labor she could do normal things, taking it easy though. She had asked what she should expect with this labor...the labor with Beth was fast, the twins' labor was long and drawn out. Of course, her doctor said it could go either way. So, when Sam asked if she wanted to run to Target to pick up something for their parents, she said sure. Her aunt was already at the house spending time with the twins. Walking around Target helped take her mind off the contractions for awhile. Sam was debating on getting his parents a donut maker or cupcake maker when she had felt a stronger contraction and decided to breathe through it quietly. She finally told him she thought they'd really like the popcorn popper and hurried him along. Then, he wanted to run through sporting goods because he wanted to get a new basketball for Clarice. They had installed a basketball goal at their new house but her ball was old and worn out. Again, Quinn agreed with his first choice and asked if he was done shopping. He looked at her strangely and asked if she was okay.

"I'm totally fine," she answered, forcing a smile.

"Okay," he answered. "I think I'm ready to go."

Walking toward the front of the store, past the kids clothes, he stopped at the boys shirts and admired one with stars and planets that was glow-in-the-dark.

"Beck would _love _this!" he said excitedly, pulling one off the rack in Beckett's size. "Don't you think so?"

He looked at Quinn, now leaning on a shelving unit of jeans, breathing through a harder contraction.

"Quinn! Dear god, you're not okay!" He wrapped his arm around her, supporting her.

"I'm fine, Sam...really..." she breathed. "Let's just...go home..."

"Can you walk?" he asked, terribly nervous, wondering how he was going to drive.

"Mhmm..." she nodded, making her way to the checkout lanes.

While Sam was paying, she told him she was running to the restroom.

He looked at her in shock.

"I just need to pee, Sam," she whispered, knowing that he thought she was about to give birth.

In the restroom, she sat on the toilet breathing through a contraction. She stood up but was leaking fluid. _Crap crap crap_, she thought, pretty sure her water had broken. She took a deep breath to calm herself down and made her way back to Sam.

"You alright?" he asked. "You look nervous."

"I'm fine...we just need to go now..." she said, her voice nearly two octaves higher than normal. She pushed the cart in front of her, moving quickly to the exit.

"Quiiiiiiin..." he said, following her. "Please talk to me..."

She reached out for his hand, pulling him along with her to their car.

"Yes, I'm having contractions and yes, I think my water broke. Let's get home and get the bag and..."

"Um, I'm taking you to the hospital..."

"Home!" she grumbled, lowering herself into the passenger seat of the car.

He got behind the wheel. "I really think we should..."

"Home! Please Sam..." she interrupted.

He turned the car toward their home.

_xxxxx_

At home, he helped her out of the car and up the steps to the porch. She told him to grab the hospital bag from upstairs while she spoke with her aunt and the twins.

"Guys, I think I need to go to the hospital...I think the baby's on the way..." she mumbled through her breathing.

"Are you having contractions?" her aunt asked.

Quinn nodded. "And my water broke..."

"Ohhh..."

The twins were clinging to her. "Are you gonna be okay?" Seeing her in pain was something new to them, scaring them both.

She nodded, smiling. "This is part of it, sweeties. Be good for your Aunt Karis. She'll bring you to see us soon..." then she grimaced through another contraction. "I forgot how much this hurts..."

Sam ran back downstairs with their bag, a diaper bag, and the car seat. "I think I have everything...are you ready, Quinn?"

He dropped everything to throw his arms around her again as she worked through another contraction, whispering to her. Then, they realized Clarice was crying and Beckett was trembling and pale.

"I'm scared for mom...is she going to be okay?" Beckett mumbled.

"She's gonna be fine, son...c'mere, both of you..."

He squatted down to their level, hugging both to him tightly. "Your mom will be fine...I won't let anything happen to her. Are you ready to meet your brother or sister?" he asked them quietly. They nodded.

"Good...so am I. The best thing you can do for mom right now is behave here at home so she doesn't have to worry about you. I promise you I'll call as soon as the baby gets here, okay?"

"You'll take care of mommy?" Clarice asked him, her voice wavering. He knew it was serious; he never heard Clarice call Quinn _mommy_.

"She'll be perfect. What's happening is natural and she's been through it before...that's how you two got here!" he told them, squeezing them again. "Give her a quick hug..."

Clarice and Beckett did as he asked, and Quinn kissed them quickly. Sam was shaking he was so nervous, never having been in a situation such as this before. Beckett picked up the two bags and Clarice the car seat and they got Quinn to the car. Sam hugged the twins again before getting in the car himself, telling them they were doing a great job and he'd talk to them soon. He kissed them too and drove Quinn to the hospital.

_xxxxx_

Finally, in the solitude of the car, that Sam was presently driving at breakneck speed through Cincinnati, Quinn could allow herself to complain through the contractions. She had been holding back at the house so as not to scare the kids, but the pain was starting to get out of control.

In between contractions, she told him, "You did great with Clar and Beck, calming them down. I know it's not easy to watch a loved one suffer."

He held her hand tighter. "I'm just goin' on instinct now, Q..."

Thankfully, he remembered where to go when he arrived at the hospital. At the doors, before he got out of the car, he asked if she could walk. She looked at him, sweating and breathing through a contraction, and he jumped out of the car and ran inside to get a wheelchair and some help.

Getting from the car to a room and a bed (Quinn thought she was in heaven when she finally was able to lie down) was all a blur for Quinn. Her mind was wrapped around getting through the contractions that were coming one on top of the next. She heard Sam telling the nurses her name and all the vital information; he was there holding her hand when they put the monitors on her. She heard someone say things were going too fast for an IV. She felt her clothes being tugged off her and a gown being slipped onto her arms. The entire time she could hear Sam's quiet stable voice in her ear, encouraging her quietly. He somehow managed to pull her hair back in a ponytail and a nurse handed him a cool washcloth for her forehead. At one point, during a particularly rough contraction, he put her hand on her belly and could feel the muscle tightening under his palm. He heard her moaning, nearly writhing in pain, and almost for a second he lost what little control he had.

"God, Sam, this hurts! I need drugs!" she yelled suddenly.

The nurse checked her quickly and told her she was too close to delivery for medication. She threw her head back on the pillows and muttered _are you kidding me?_

"I'm done, Sam. I'm not doing anymore. This is just a bunch of - " She sucked in her breath at the onset of the next contraction.

"Breathe, Quinn...you can do it! You just heard the nurse! You're almost there! It's almost over...we're almost there..." he was saying to her when she kind of sat up and grunted and screamed all at once.

The nurses were yelling at her. Sam was on the verge of freaking out when she said _baby_ and just collapsed against the pillows again.

Sam kept hearing the nurses talking about the baby and they were between her legs and suddenly he heard the tiny cry. _Holy fuck, she just had the baby_, he thought in somewhat of a fog.

He kept his eyes on Quinn; she appeared to be dozing. She came to suddenly, looking for him.

"The baby? Did I have the baby?" she asked him suddenly.

He grinned, nodding. "I think you did. Can you hear the crying?"

A nurse was telling Quinn that the placenta was delivering.

"Where's the doctor?" she asked.

"You beat the doctor!" the nurses said.

Suddenly, a nurse was at Sam's elbow, holding a squirming mewling bundle.

"Mom and dad, you have a very beautiful little girl..." she said, handing Quinn the baby.

"Oh my god, Quinn, a girl...we have a girl..." he whispered, kissing her on the cheek. She held up the babe for him to see her.

"She's so pretty, Sam," she said, kissing the baby on her head.

"She has hair, Quinn..." Sam said with a sense of amazement. "She has such pretty hair..."

Quinn smiled at him. "We did it, daddy..."

She handed Sam the infant. The bundle was warm in his arms, a feeling of constant tiny movements. The little girl had worked her right arm out of the swaddling and was waving it around and making funny little noises. He kissed her on the forehead also where Quinn had kissed her. He couldn't stop staring at the tiny nose, her perfect mouth, her spiky dark brown hair. He let her hold his finger with her waving hand and was surprised at her grip.

"I'm so happy to meet you, little one! I've waited so long for this day..." he whispered to her. To him, the baby seemed impossibly tiny compared to Clarice and Beckett. "Your mother did such an awesome job...I'm so proud of her."

The baby started whimpering, so Sam gave her back to Quinn.

"It's been so long…" Quinn mumbled, exposing her breast and showing the baby how to latch on. "Sam…she's perfect."

As evening came on, things calmed down. The doctor arrived and checked out Quinn and the baby. Sam called the house and spoke with the kids and Quinn's aunt and they were on their way to the hospital. Quinn's aunt had called Quinn's parents and Sam's family; he called them all to update them and they were on their way to the hospital also.

"So, do you think her name fits her?" Quinn asked him while he was rocking her.

He looked down at the tiny baby girl in his arms and nodded.

_xxxxx_

Julia Addison Evans entered the world at 4:34 p.m. on December 21, 2022, weighing 6 pounds 4 ounces, 19-1/2 inches long. She was named after her two grandmothers, Judy Fabray and Addie Evans. She instantly had both grandmothers wrapped around her little finger. Her big siblings loved her as soon as they saw her too. Sam was proud of how carefully they handled her and cooed to her.

Sam also took great pride in retelling Julia's birth story, his active part in it, how proud he was of Quinn. Once they brought the new baby home, her nickname became Julie and for Sam, Clarice, and Beckett it was quite an adjustment. Quinn was used to the crying at all hours, the feeding schedule, the sleeping schedule…even if it had been several years. Sam did his best to take care of nighttime awakenings and finally found a routine that seemed to work. In their spare moments, Sam helped Quinn fill out Julie's baby book. She helped him the first time he gave Julie a bath, reassuring him numerous times that she would not slip out of his hands. Both Clarice and Beckett loved helping take care of Julie and entertain her, giving Sam and Quinn a break every once in awhile.

The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months. With every new "first" that Julie displayed, Sam was right there to witness it. He and Quinn took turns recording Julie's feats in her baby book. Clar and Beck loved taking pictures of her. They had each received digital cameras for their tenth birthday.

Before they knew it, Sam and Quinn were celebrating their second wedding anniversary, then Julie's first birthday. Sam was enjoying his teaching job at the kids' school; the kids were enjoying school; Julie was a happy tow-headed toddler; and Quinn had made the decision to return to school to earn her degree and work toward licensing as a physical therapist.

And then they learned Quinn was pregnant again. She was due just after the twins' birthday. They were a little surprised but happy. Their family was growing just as they had hoped.

As Quinn's belly grew, so did their youngest daughter. She had begun talking, and the family was entranced by her voice. She knew she was loved, not spoiled. As her personality became more and more well known to the four of them, they realized she was basically a Sam Junior. She was girly around Quinn, more of a tomboy around Clarice, and would sit with Beckett for lengths of time while he read to her.

For this pregnancy, they again decided to let it be a surprise as to if they were having a girl or a boy. They were sure it was only one baby and planned a gender neutral nursery and clothing and toys and books. Quinn continued her classes, planning to finish her degree after the newest addition to their family arrived. Sam had decided to return to school, as well, to further his education to hopefully move into an administrative position at the elementary school. Their home became a busy hub for the neighborhood kids, no longer thinking of it as haunted but as the place to be. Clarice and Beckett had a good group of friends, and Sam and Quinn enjoyed having the house full of kids and laughter.

As the twins' twelfth birthday approached, Sam and Quinn decided they were ready for their own computers and presented them with small laptops. They gave Julie a toy computer as she was very aware of her older siblings and mimicked them daily. Quinn was heavily pregnant that day so they kept the party low-key. As Quinn remembered it, as Clar and Beck blew out their 12 candles apiece, her contractions started.

Once all their friends had left, she told Sam about the contractions and that they were getting closer together. They decided to go to the hospital so she could be checked out. Her aunt was still there helping clean up from the party, so they were able to leave for the hospital quickly. Sam and Quinn kissed the twins and Julie goodbye, reassuring them that Quinn would be fine.

Julie put her hands on Quinn's belly and asked "Baby?" Quinn nodded and smiled.

"Baby," she answered.

_xxxxx_

Early the next day, Brigham Zeke Evans entered the world, screaming. Quinn laughed when they handed him to her, and his face was red and his full head of hair was nearly white. She calmed him by nursing him right away. Sam and Quinn had decided beforehand that if it was a girl Sam would name her and if it was a boy Quinn would name him. Clar and Beck had chosen the middle name, wanting the baby to have a name starting with a Z.

Sam called home soon after the baby was born, letting Quinn's aunt know Quinn had given birth like a champ, both she and the baby were healthy. He asked her to bring the kids in around lunchtime to meet their new baby brother.

The new baby awoke shortly after being rocked to sleep by Quinn, crying again. She handed him over to Sam who walked him around the room, singing quietly to him. Brigham calmed down and listened to Sam's voice, letting it soothe him back to sleep. Sam finally sat down, relishing the happy moment, exhausted from the long day, but full of love looking down at his new son.

_xxxxx_

From that day forward, Sam and Quinn had lots of happy moments to remember. There were scary moments, too, as happens with most families. As a toddler, shortly after Brigham's birth, Julie was hospitalized with whooping cough. Then, Clarice broke her arm sliding into home plate when she was 13 and had to undergo surgery. Afterward, she ran out of space on her cast for people to sign it. Beckett went through a phase in high school about not wanting to go to college, just wanting to 'explore the world,' which entailed going to California with some questionable kids he briefly hung out with. Sam was probably closest to Brigham, nicknamed Brig by the family, as he had learning disabilities and school was difficult and frustrating for him. Sam spent many, many hours with Brig going over homework nightly. He was proud of his youngest son for how diligent he was with his studying, knowing how hard it was for him to grasp simple ideas and concepts.

The years slipped by in a blur. Quinn earned her degree and became a physical therapist. Sam earned his master's degree and became the assistant principal at Taft the year Brigham started kindergarten and became principal three years later. Clarice excelled in high school, earning scholarships to college. She chose to stay near home and go to school in Cincinnati. Once Beckett got over his 'seeing the world' phase (after one of his so-called friends was arrested for drinking and driving), he worked hard for the remainder of his time in high school and chose to go to a nearby community college and later transferred his credits to the university that Clarice attended, graduating the same year she did.

Major school events began taking over Sam and Quinn's lives: college graduation, high school graduation, sixth grade graduation, plays, sports events too numerous to count, dances, dating.

A day they had been waiting for, expecting, finally happened when Clarice and Beckett were 24. They came home with their respective boyfriend/girlfriend and announced their engagements. They were planning a double wedding in August, right before they turned 25. Julie was 15 and excited about it; Brigham was almost 14 and only wanted to play his video games. Girls grossed him out.

Sam and Quinn were beyond happy. They liked Clar and Beck's significant others and helped with the planning of the ceremony. August arrived too quickly, it seemed, and Sam found himself holding Quinn in his arms on the dance floor, watching Clarice dance with her new husband and Beckett dance with his new wife nearby. Julie had found a dance partner and Brigham reluctantly was dancing with a cute girl.

Sam smiled and kissed Quinn on the cheek. "What awesome kids we have."

She looked up at him and smiled back. "They are pretty cool."

"Brig's dancing with a girl…" Sam whispered, turning her so she could see.

She giggled. "He looks totally uncomfortable."

"I've known that feeling!"

"How is it possible we have two married kids now? Where did the time go?" she asked him.

"It slips by quickly, doesn't it?" he replied. "We still have two at home though…"

"How will we fill all that space at home once Julie and Brig move on?"

He chuckled. "Grandkids Quinn!"

"Hmm…grandbabies…me, a grandma…wow…" she said, hugging him tighter.

"And me a grandpa! I can't wait!" he laughed.

"I'm sure it'll happen soon enough," she said. A year later, they were indeed grandparents, Clarice a new mom and Beckett a new dad.

_xxxxx_

Sam and Quinn retreated to their room at the hotel where Clarice and Beckett's wedding reception was held. Quinn changed for bed in the bathroom while Sam waited in bed for her.

When she exited the bathroom, he was shocked to see her wearing a tight black dress and long red wig and oversized sunglasses.

"Wait…how'd you…?" he asked, recognizing the get-up from the night she came to the strip club so many years ago. He sat up in bed, watching her slowly make her way over to him. She handed him a dollar bill.

"I believe you owe me a private dance," she purred, taking the shades off.

He took her dollar and stood up, gently shoving her onto the bed.

"My pleasure, ma'am," he said, his voice deep, sultry.

Already in only his briefs, he recalled his dance moves from working at Star Struck and tried doing a few. Of course, they both dissolved in a fit of giggles. He joined her on the bed.

"I hope that was to your liking, miss," he said, kissing her.

"Very much so…I'd give you a dollar every day for the rest of my life to see those moves!" she giggled.

He pulled off the wig, gazing at her.

"You are perfect, Quinn. Perfect for me, perfect for our children…I love you…" he whispered, pulling her into a deep kiss.

"Always for you, Sam…I love you forever…" she answered, getting lost in his kiss and his hands roaming over her body.

For a moment, she was taken back to that night in Fort Wayne, when he followed her back to the hotel room and their awkward encounter that led to where they were now: him moving over her, so very familiar with her body and his body and what they both enjoyed…the one thing that had never changed through all those years…how much she loved him and how much he loved her, then and now.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the ending. It went on a little longer than I anticipated...lol!**


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